Dr. Michael Gervais on Not Caring What People Think and the Future of Stoicism (Pt 1)
Jan 31, 2024
auto_awesome
Dr. Michael Gervais, a high-performance psychologist known for his work with elite athletes and leaders, joins the discussion to tackle the 'Fear of Other People's Opinions' (FOPO). He shares insights on overcoming imposter syndrome and emphasizes the need for self-assessment over external validation. The conversation evolves to address how societal pressures affect our self-identity and creativity while advocating for authenticity. Gervais also introduces themes from his new book, championing the importance of emotional awareness within Stoicism.
Master the things that are within your control rather than obsessing over things that are not.
Approach stoicism with compassion towards emotions to make better decisions and be more empathetic.
Align your emotions with your sense of purpose to create positive change and make a difference in the world.
Deep dives
The importance of separating what is in our control and what is not
The essence of stoicism is separating things into two categories: that which is in our control and that which is not. Epictetus emphasizes that our focus should be on mastering the things that are 100% under our control, such as our effort, rather than being consumed by outcomes that are not entirely within our control.
The misconception about stoicism and emotions
There is a misconception that stoicism is about suppressing or denying emotions. However, Dr. Michael Gervais proposes that stoicism could benefit from a compassionate approach towards emotions. He suggests that by developing a healthy relationship with our emotions, we can make clearer and more thoughtful decisions, as well as be more empathetic and purpose-driven.
The value of purpose in navigating emotions
Purpose plays a crucial role in working with our emotions. Dr. Michael Gervais highlights that having a sense of purpose allows us to shift our focus beyond ourselves and towards something greater, whether it's the planet, other people, or animals. By aligning our emotions with our purpose, we can be more compassionate, make a positive difference, and create a better world.
The Importance of Not Seeking Approval
In this podcast episode, the speaker emphasizes the detrimental effects of seeking approval from others. They explain that our ancient brain is wired to fear rejection from the tribe as it was once a near death sentence. This fear of rejection often manifests in the form of the fear of public speaking, where we worry about the judgment and disapproval of others. However, the speaker argues that in modern times, this fear is mostly unnecessary and hinders our performance. They emphasize the need to break free from the need for constant approval and focus on our own vision and purpose.
Balancing Self-Expression and Audience Expectations
The podcast also explores the delicate balance between self-expression and catering to the expectations and opinions of others. While it is important to care about some people's opinions, such as bosses or customers, the speaker encourages listeners to align their creative choices with their own core values and intentions. They highlight the significance of staying true to oneself and not compromising artistic integrity for the sake of approval. Furthermore, they discuss the importance of finding a trusted inner circle of advisors who understand and support one's creative vision, providing valuable guidance and feedback. Overall, the episode encourages listeners to care about their own opinions and purpose while respecting the perspectives of others.
On this episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast, Ryan is joined by Dr. Michael Gervais, one of the world’s top high-performance psychologists and leading experts on the relationship between the mind and human performance.
Dr. Michael Gervais has spent his career being called on by the best of the best across the worlds of business, sport, the arts, and science when they need to achieve the extraordinary. Dr. Gervais’s client roster includes Super Bowl winning NFL teams, Fortune 50 CEOs, Olympic medalists, internationally acclaimed artists, and more. He is also the founder of Finding Mastery and the founder/host of the Finding Mastery Podcast, and the co-creator of the Performance Science Institute at USC. His work has been featured by NBC, ABC, FOX, CNN, ESPN, NFL Network, Red Bull TV, The Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Outside Magazine, WIRED, and ESPN Magazine.
