Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens 71: My Kid Was Dumped by Her Friends. How Can I Help?
Mar 8, 2022
The podcast dives into why kids sometimes exclude friends, highlighting how the pandemic has disrupted their social dynamics. It examines the emotional fallout of being ostracized and provides insights for parents on how to navigate these challenging situations. Listeners learn about the role of shared interests in friendships and how to address mean behavior among peers. Strategies for helping children cope with rejection and fostering healthy connections are discussed, along with the importance of parental involvement in resolving social conflicts.
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Scapegoating As Social Glue
- Friendship groups can use scapegoating as "social glue" when positive shared activities are scarce.
- The pandemic depleted healthy bonding opportunities, so kids sometimes bond by excluding someone.
Reframe The Rejection
- Explain to your teen that exclusion often reflects the group's instability, not her worth.
- Normalize her reaction while helping her see the group's behavior as a deliberate bonding tactic.
Friendships As Chemical Compounds
- Visualize friendship groups as chemical compounds with atoms representing kids and varying stability.
- Kicking out an atom can be a strategy to 'stabilize' an unstable group, not a personal verdict.
