234 The Unexpected Link Between Trauma & Your Messy Home
Oct 24, 2023
58:04
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Internationally known decluttering expert, Stacy Scott, discusses the unexpected link between trauma and your messy home. She explores how trauma impacts your ability to clean, the connection between chores as punishment and chore resistance in adulthood, the impact of energetic chaos on your relationship with home, the link between 'too much' and overwhelm, the connection between trauma and a messy home, and the significance of Feng Shui in decluttering work.
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Quick takeaways
Recognizing how trauma impacts our ability to clean and declutter our spaces can lead to effortless decluttering and a more harmonious living environment.
Chores used as punishment during childhood can create fight or flight responses to cleaning tasks, leading to resistance and overwhelming feelings.
Possessions often hold emotional significance and can represent past experiences or unresolved trauma, understanding the emotional narratives associated with our possessions can facilitate healing and create a harmonious relationship with our spaces.
Deep dives
Recognizing the impact of trauma on cleaning and decluttering
Stacy Scott, a decluttering expert and trauma survivor, discusses the importance of recognizing how trauma affects our ability to clean and declutter our spaces. She explains that our homes are our first teachers, and if we grew up in environments that were energetically chaotic or not conducive to success, we may carry those patterns into adulthood. She emphasizes that our relationship with our space reflects our relationship with ourselves, and focusing on healing trauma through the home can lead to effortless decluttering and a more harmonious living environment.
The link between trauma and resistance to cleaning
Stacy Scott examines how trauma can lead to resistance and overwhelming feelings when it comes to cleaning and organizing. She explains that when chores are used as punishment during childhood, our bodies can develop fight or flight responses to those specific tasks. This can manifest as extreme resistance to cleaning, decluttering, or even simple tasks like doing the dishes. Scott highlights the importance of understanding the connection between our bodies and our homes, and how trauma can impact our ability to interact with our spaces.
The role of trauma in our relationships with possessions
Stacy Scott explores how trauma can shape our relationship with possessions. She explains that possessions often hold emotional significance and can represent past experiences, memories, or even unresolved trauma. Scott emphasizes that difficulties in decluttering are not a moral failure, but rather a trauma response. By delving beneath the surface and understanding the emotional narratives associated with our possessions, we can begin the process of healing and create a more harmonious relationship with our spaces.
Understanding overwhelm and finding individual solutions
Stacy Scott sheds light on how trauma and ADHD can contribute to overwhelm when it comes to organizing and decluttering. She emphasizes the importance of becoming consciously aware of our triggers and identifying the thoughts and bodily sensations that arise during overwhelming moments. Scott encourages individuals with ADHD to listen to their intuition and find their own methods for navigating through overwhelm, acknowledging that there is no one-size-fits-all approach. By honoring their natural problem-solving abilities, individuals with ADHD can create effective and personalized strategies for decluttering.
The power of trauma-informed decluttering
Stacy Scott discusses the concept of trauma-informed decluttering, which involves understanding how trauma impacts our relationship with possessions and our homes. She explains that trauma-informed decluttering is about peering beneath the surface and recognizing that difficulties with decluttering are rooted in trauma responses rather than personal failures. By consciously becoming aware and going through a process of healing and inner child work, individuals can experience lasting transformation in their decluttering journey, creating spaces that reflect their true selves and support their overall well-being.
When I discovered Stacy Scott while scrolling through Instagram, I immediately knew I had to get her on the podcast. Stacy is an internationally known decluttering expert, feng shui practitioner, and occupational therapist with three wildly successful decluttering workshops. Unlike a lot of other organization and decluttering coaches, Stacy focuses on recognizing how trauma impacts your ability to clean so you can make your space your own.
As someone who grew up in an energetically chaotic environment, it took me years to realize the way this affected my interaction with my own space. It was really difficult for me to learn how to keep a home that felt good to me (read: not a perfectly organized home) — I felt like I was failing my family. A huge part of getting past this was unpacking my own trauma story and healing.
Unfortunately, this is something I hear from my clients all the time. “I don’t understand why they can keep a clean house and I can’t.” It feels like failure, but I promise you, it’s not.
In this podcast episode, Stacy talks about how her own trauma held her back. After spending years in denial, she decided to do the work herself. Through the process, she discovered that her past trauma would pop up in her mind as she thought about her possessions. Once she became aware of her triggers, she used her own methods to move through them.
For Stacy, the modality of inner child healing helps her clients identify what might be coming up for them through this work. They’ll often discover that their possessions represent past trauma in their lives, and, really, “It’s not really about the stuff. It’s about what the stuff means to you.”
For those of you with ADHD, trauma-informed decluttering can feel overwhelming. Know that you don’t have to clean up everything at once. Take it one step at a time. Throw away one possession at a time. It’s not too late to take back your space and your life.
To learn more about working with Stacy, you can find her on:
If you’re doing the work to declutter your home and find you need some support to do your best work as someone with ADHD, I encourage you to check out my group coaching program FOCUSED. Inside this program, you’ll be able to get ADHD-specific coaching alongside an amazing and encouraging community.