Ep293: Secrets of Consort Practice - Khandro Kunzang Dechen Chodron
Feb 14, 2025
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Khandro Kunzang Dechen Chodron, a teacher of Tibetan Buddhism and executive director of Saraswati Bhawan Publications, shares her profound experiences as a spiritual consort to a Tibetan lama. She discusses the rigorous preparations and yogic practices involved in consort work, touching on its contentious nature, particularly regarding life extension. Khandro also offers insights on how to navigate guidance from a guru and reveals why she is finally speaking publicly about this secretive practice.
Khandro Kunzang emphasizes the importance of a structured approach to Tibetan consort practices, requiring gradual preparation through different levels of yoga.
The role of a consort transcends romantic notions, focusing instead on karmic connections and mutual spiritual aspirations essential for genuine practice.
Khando highlights the significance of emotional and psychological preparedness in engaging with tantric practices, particularly the complexities of using sexual energy for spiritual exploration.
Deep dives
Journey to Becoming a Consort
Kandro Kunzang Dechen Chodra shares her transformative journey from being a nun to becoming a spiritual consort for a Tibetan Lama. This transition was not merely a change of identity but a significant leap of faith, driven by a deep karmic connection with her teacher, Lama Dawa. She faced challenges, including gossip and adjustments within her community, as she navigated this new role. Kandro emphasizes that this path required her to embrace the teachings of her lama fully, marking a profound commitment to the tantric practices that were now integral to her life.
The Importance of Gradual Practice
The podcast highlights the necessity of a structured and graduated approach to Tibetan Buddhist practices, particularly in relation to consort work. Kandro stresses that practitioners must progress through various stages, such as the Anu and Ati Yoga levels, before engaging in advanced practices with a consort. This gradual accumulation of knowledge and experience is essential for practitioners to build their capacity and mental clarity, ultimately preparing them for the subtleties of advanced practices. She underscores that the path is systematic, and without proper preparation, one might not fully benefit from or understand the significance of these practices.
Role and Dynamics of Consort Practice
Consort practice is described as multi-dimensional, serving intricate spiritual purposes, including life extension for lamas and the realization of significant practices. Kandro explains that this practice is not based solely on romantic relationships, but rather on a karmic connection and mutual spiritual aspiration between practitioners. She discusses how traditional narratives often highlight the rarity of genuine consort relationships, as well as the challenges faced in finding a suitable partner who shares the same spiritual ambitions. This complexity underlines the necessity for clear guidance and the importance of training before engaging in such practices.
Significance of Physical Preparations in Practice
Kandro elaborates on the physical nature of consort practices, including the use of specially made pipes for facilitating energy exchange during tantric sexual practices. These tools, she explains, are crucial for creating openings in the body's energy channels, allowing for a deeper connection to occur between partners. The discussion emphasizes that these practices require extensive preparatory work, including purification techniques, to ensure that practitioners can effectively engage in the advanced dynamics of energy exchange. She highlights the meticulous nature of these rituals, ensuring that they are performed with respect and understanding of their spiritual significance.
The Challenges of Sexual Energy in Spiritual Practice
The conversation addresses the nuanced and often challenging role of sexual energy within tantric practices and the need for practitioners to have a firm grounding in their own psychological and emotional states. Kandro notes that unresolved traumas can complicate one's ability to engage effectively in consort practices, emphasizing the importance of being emotionally and spiritually prepared. She stresses that genuine sexual practices in the tantric sense should not be mistaken for casual encounters but are rather sophisticated methods of spiritual exploration that enhance one's understanding of emptiness and bliss. Ultimately, this discussion sheds light on the potential for deep transformation when practitioners approach their sexual energy with clear intention and understanding.
In this episode I am once again joined by Khandro Kunzang Dechen Chodron, teacher of Tibetan Buddhism and executive director of Saraswati Bhawan Publications.
Khandro Kunzang reveals her experience as a spiritual consort to a Tibetan lama, and shares her understanding of this controversial practice.
Khandro Kunzang recalls how she became a consort, details her extensive preparations, and explains the coarse and subtle body yogas involved.
Khandro Kunzang also discusses the use of consort practice for life extension, how to respond if a guru suggests you become his consort, and why it is that she is now talking publicly about this hitherto secret practice.
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Video version: https://www.guruviking.com/podcast/ep293-secrets-of-consort-practice-khandro-kunzang-dechen-chodron-3
Also available on Youtube, iTunes, & Spotify – search ‘Guru Viking Podcast’.
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Topics include:
00:00 - Intro
00:48 - The graduated path
04:28 - The fruition of Dzogchen and Ati Yoga
05:41 - The effortless path
06:34 - Dzogchen mistakes
07:40 - Is a 3 year retreat necessary?
08:42 - Personalised retreat with guru
09:32 - Signs of accomplishment on retreat
14:31 - Secret training with Kunzang Dorje Rinpoche
16:03 - Jealousy of Tibetan students
17:33 - Pure Dzogchen vs gradual path
21:04 - How do I know my practice is working?
23:50 - The ultimate test of practice
25:30 - Lama Dawa’s terminal cancer and yogic death
31:17 - The practice of yogic dying
33:11 - Physiological signs of tukdam
34:07 - Death of Kunzang Dorje Rinpoche
35:42 - Miraculous behaviour of Lama Dawa’s relics
37:42 - Difficulties and challenges during Lama Dawa’s end of life
42:08 - Personal restoration during the pandemic
42:48 - The ultimate teaching
43:25 - Displacing grief to keep the show on the road
46:48 - When to begin consort practice?
50:37 - Authentic consort practice is very rare
52:01 - Classic consort stories
53:41 - Abusive lamas and gurus who claim expertise in consort practice
55:10 - The support role of a guru’s consort
56:50 - An “activity consort”
58:19 - Preparing to be Lama Dawa’s consort
59:13 - Using a consort to extend your life
01:00:59 - Using pipes to open the urethra
01:04:49 - Training to purify the lower chakras and draw in the essence fluid
01:06:49 - Working with the thigle drops
01:07:17 - Using eros to experience emptiness
01:08:20 - Consort practice is not romantic
01:08:49 - Extreme consort practice
01:10:06 - Unresolved traumas in consort practice
01:11:05 - Is vajrolī mudrā really possible?
01:13:22 - Jñānamudrā and self practice
1:17:06 - Test your lama if he suggests consort practice
01:20:48 - Why talk openly about secret consort practice?
01:21:24 - Disrobing as a nun to engage in tantric practice
01:23:17 - Seeing your teacher as a living Buddha
01:24:16 - Motives for marrying Lama Dawa
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Previous episodes with Khandro Kunzang Dechen Chodron:
- https://www.guruviking.com/search?q=khandro%20kunzang
To find our more about Khandro Kunzang Dechen Chodron, visit:
- https://www.phurbathinleyling.org/khandro-kunzang/
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