Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting

2692: [Part 2] Check Your Relationship Health: 4 Indicators For Success by Sara Stanizai of Prospect Therapy

Aug 13, 2025
In a deep dive into relationship dynamics, the conversation highlights the damaging effects of defensiveness and stonewalling. These habits can silently erode emotional connections between partners. Emphasis is placed on pausing to acknowledge each other's perspectives and returning to discussions with clarity. Techniques for managing conflict and emotional regulation are shared, promoting self-awareness and respectful communication. By addressing valid concerns openly, couples can strengthen their bond and ensure a healthier relationship.
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INSIGHT

Defensiveness Blocks Understanding

  • Defensiveness often appears as immediate dismissal with phrases like "Yeah, but..." and prevents hearing your partner.
  • Lowering defenses lets both partners be heard and increases chances of resolving conflict.
ADVICE

Acknowledge Before Defending

  • Acknowledge any truth in your partner's complaint and apologize for that part without erasing your needs.
  • Ask clarifying questions like, “Help me understand why this is such a big deal to you.”
ADVICE

Stop Scorekeeping During Conflict

  • Stop keeping score or deflecting with counterattacks like "Well, what about you?" and instead assess if any part of the complaint is true.
  • Put defenses down to increase mutual listening and productive resolution.
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