Keeping the Peace with High Conflict Neighbors

In this episode of It's All Your Fault, hosts Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy tackle strategies for dealing with turbulent neighbor relationships driven by high conflict personalities.

Responding to False Allegations Between Neighbors

The episode opens with a listener question about two neighbors targeting each other – one with possible borderline/narcissistic traits and the other with paranoid, histrionic, and antisocial tendencies. Bill emphasizes not diagnosing anyone but notes these likely contribute to the conflict.

He recommends consulting a lawyer about legal options and avoiding engagement with false accusations. Megan adds using empathy, attention, and respect (EAR) statements can help calm tensions. They discuss cautiously recruiting an ally from the other family to encourage reasonableness.

Using Mediation with High Conflict Disputes

Another listener asks about using mediation with high-conflict disputes. Bill draws on his mediation experience and explains a specialized structure and process often helps settle these cases. Neutrality or education on expectations can be effective. Agreements made directly tend to have higher compliance.

You may be wondering:

• How to respond to false allegations from a neighbor?
• When is it appropriate to involve a lawyer?
• Can mediation work with high conflict people?
• What is the best mediator approach?
• How to identify and engage a helpful ally?

Key Takeaways:

• Don’t engage in arguments with hostile neighbors
• Consult lawyers cautiously about legal options
• Empathy and calm responses can ease tensions
• Specially designed mediation can settle many disputes
• Participation increases commitment to agreements

Bill and Megan share proven techniques to reduce the drama and damage caused by high conflict neighbors. Learn subtle but powerful strategies to reclaim your peace of mind.

Links & Other Notes:

• AUDIO
  • Managing High Conflict People in Neighbor Disputes
• BOOKS
  • Mediating High Conflict Disputes
  • It’s All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything
  • BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns
• ARTICLES
  • Dealing with High Conflict People (7 Tips)
• LIVE LAB
  • 1:1 Practice Sessions with our high-conflict experts
• Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
• Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
• All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
• You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
• (01:04) - High Conflict Neighbor Disputes
• (10:48) - Mediation
• (14:35) - Needing Authority
• (21:51) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Divorce, Custody Battles, and Alienation

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