This discussion dives into the challenges of self-sabotage, especially for those living with ADHD. The host shares experiences of maladaptive behaviors like procrastination and perfectionism. Emphasizing the importance of self-compassion, the conversation highlights how these issues often reflect unmet needs rather than flaws. It also explores the concept of one's 'worst self,' advocating for empathy and realistic goal-setting as essential tools for gradual self-improvement.
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Addressing Procrastination
Address the root cause of procrastination, not just the symptom.
Different causes require different solutions.
insights INSIGHT
Compensatory Behaviors
Our worst selves often emerge when we try to compensate for ADHD challenges.
These compensatory behaviors, while appearing negative, serve a purpose.
insights INSIGHT
Multiple Root Causes
Maladaptive behaviors often have multiple, interconnected root causes.
Understanding these complex origins requires deeper self-reflection.
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I was listening to the radio the other day when My Own Worst Enemy by Lit came on - a fine example of pop-punk from the late 90’s.
And while I enjoyed the song, what stuck with me was thinking about the name of that song, My Own Worst Enemy. This is a feeling I have often felt with my ADHD. I seem to have an endless supply of maladaptive and self-destructive behaviors that stem from the condition.
Poor time management, hyper-focusing on non-priority tasks, overcommitting, and procrastination are just a few examples of how my ADHD can manifest in ways that feel counterproductive.
And what we’re talking about is a view of our worst self.
That self of ours comes out in ways that we may later regret or that seem to work against our interests. And with ADHD, these moments can be frequent and frustrating. There have been many times when I’ve thought about this worst self of mine and how I wish I could undo all the bad inside of me. I mean, looking around online, it isn’t hard to find people who prescribe how you can become your best self. However, many of our worst selves' behaviors do not indicate our value as people; instead, they’re a reflection of our unmet needs and coping mechanisms.
And so in today’s episode, we’re going to be talking about this worst self of ours, how it manifested, why perhaps we should have a bit more empathy for these maladaptive behaviors, and also how we can work on moving forward to perhaps not our best self, but at least possibly, a better one. Support me on Patreon Ask me a question on my Contact Page Find the show note at HackingYourADHD.com/188This Episode’s Top Tips
Approach the idea of your worst self with empathy. Focus on the fact that you developed these maladaptive behaviors for a reason.
Pay attention to the situations and emotions that trigger your worst behaviors to anticipate and manage them more effectively.
Often, our maladaptive behaviors come out when we’re not doing a good job of meeting our basic needs. If we’re engaging in numbing behaviors, we can look below the symptoms to try and see what’s setting them off.
Hacking Your ADHD