S2 Ep1143: When to Talk to Your Kids About Sex? Dr. Julia Sadusky
Jan 11, 2024
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Dr. Julia Sadusky, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in trauma-informed care, discusses when and how to talk to kids about sex, the importance of naming body parts, and protecting against sexual abuse. They also explore creating an open relationship with your child, discussing the Catholic and Protestant views on masturbation, and understanding its psychological benefits.
Initiate open and honest sex conversations with kids from a young age, using accurate names for body parts.
Address the curiosity in children's sexual development by responding calmly and openly, guiding conversations without shame.
Protect children from sexual abuse by being vigilant, creating a safe environment, and discussing challenging topics like pornography and warning signs.
Deep dives
Helping Parents Talk to Their Kids About Sex
The podcast episode explores the importance of parents initiating conversations about sex with their children. The guest, Dr. Julia Sadesky, highlights the need for open and honest communication with kids from a young age, even as early as one year old. She emphasizes the importance of accurately naming genitalia during bath time to reduce shame and increase comfort. Additionally, Dr. Sadesky suggests that parents should be informed and prepared to discuss various topics related to sexual development, including same-sex attraction and gender questioning. She encourages parents to create a non-reactive and supportive environment where children feel safe to share their feelings and experiences.
Addressing Boundaries and Curiosity in Children's Sexual Development
Another key point discussed in the podcast episode is the importance of setting boundaries and addressing the curiosity that arises during children's sexual development. Dr. Sadesky advises parents to respond calmly and openly when children engage in exploratory play or ask questions about their bodies. She provides examples of how parents can guide these conversations, such as explaining the purpose of certain body parts and teaching appropriate behaviors in public and private settings. By normalizing these discussions and avoiding shame, parents can help children navigate their curiosity in a healthy and informed way.
Understanding the Complexities of Sexual Abuse and Protecting Children
Dr. Sadesky also touches upon the prevalence of sexual abuse and the need for adults to be vigilant and proactive in protecting children. She discusses the misconceptions surrounding perpetrators of abuse, emphasizing that they are often individuals known and trusted by the family. She urges parents to be aware of warning signs and to create a safe environment where children feel safe disclosing any uncomfortable experiences. Furthermore, she acknowledges the role of early exposure to pornography in distorting children's sexual development and emphasizes the need for parents to be open and approachable for discussions about these challenging topics.
Talking with your teens about sex
When children reach the age of approximately nine or ten, it is important to have open and honest conversations with them about sex. This is the age when kids start to become curious about the changes happening in their bodies and may have questions about topics like erections or vaginal discharge. By initiating these conversations, parents can normalize the physical changes and explain the biological functions behind them. It is crucial to create a safe space where children feel comfortable asking questions and discussing their thoughts and experiences. Showing diagrams or using age-appropriate resources can help in providing accurate information about puberty and sexual development.
Preventing sexual abuse through open communication
Preventing sexual abuse begins with setting boundaries and teaching children about appropriate touch from an early age. Parents should establish family rules that discourage secrets and encourage open communication. It is vital for kids to understand that they can always talk to their parents about anything that makes them feel scared or uncomfortable, even if it involves someone they know. Parents should avoid forcing physical affection, such as hugging or kissing, and instead give children the freedom to decide how they want to greet others. By empowering children to listen to their instincts and teaching them about personal boundaries, parents can create a supportive environment that reduces the risk of abuse.
Dr. Julia Sadusky is a licensed clinical psychologist in Colorado. She is also an author, consultant, speaker, and adjunct professor. Dr. Sadusky has done extensive research and clinical work in sexual development and specializes in trauma-informed care. She earned a bachelor's degree from Ave Maria University and a master's degree and doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Regent University. She has authored several books around human sexuality, with her most recent book titled, Start Talking to Your Kids about Sex: A Practical Guide for Catholics (Ave Maria Press, 2023).
Julia's latest book forms the foundation for our scintillating conversation. When should we talk to our kids about sex? What does "age appropriate" ways of talking look like? The importance of naming body parts. How to protect against sexual abuse.
