Sex for Saints

Episode 378 - Maintenance Sex

Jul 18, 2025
Maintenance sex is often misunderstood as merely a chore, but it can be a sacred act of love. The discussion emphasizes intentional connection, transforming how couples approach intimacy. It's about being present with each other, even amidst life's chaos. Instead of seeing it as an obligation, couples are encouraged to cherish these moments to sustain emotional trust and physical closeness. Rediscovering this practice can reignite the spark in relationships and foster deeper connections.
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INSIGHT

Maintenance Sex Reframed As Presence

  • Maintenance sex is sex chosen to keep the thread of sexual connection alive even when passion is low.
  • It's framed as presence and intention rather than obligation or leftover intimacy.
INSIGHT

Duty Versus Chosen Intimacy

  • Duty sex is motivated by obligation and fear, while maintenance sex is a voluntary choice to nurture connection.
  • The distinction protects emotional safety and reframes sex as an expression of love, not compliance.
ANECDOTE

Friday Night Scenario

  • Amanda gives a Friday-night scenario showing the emotional difference between bracing for duty sex and leaning into maintenance sex.
  • In maintenance sex the partner breathes, honors boundaries, and chooses closeness rather than checking out.
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