363. Raising Feminist Kids (and Raising Yourself!): A Conversation with Jo-Ann Finkelstein
Oct 10, 2024
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Join Jo-Ann Finkelstein, a clinical psychologist and author of "Sexism & Sensibility," as she dives into the nuances of feminist parenting. She discusses how childhood messages shape parenting styles and highlights the importance of validating girls' experiences. Jo-Ann emphasizes empowering daughters to navigate societal challenges while addressing the biases parents may unconsciously transmit. Gain insights into fostering resilience in children and learn how to have meaningful conversations about sexism and emotional intelligence for a more balanced upbringing.
Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein highlights the impact of childhood messages on girls' self-esteem, often leading to feelings of inadequacy and disconnection from their ambitions.
The podcast emphasizes the need for parents to recognize and change harmful biases, promoting open dialogue that validates their daughters' experiences and opinions.
Deep dives
Understanding Gender Messaging in Childhood
The messages girls receive from a young age profoundly impact their self-esteem and sense of worth. Dr. Joanne Finkelstein highlights how girls often encounter subtle forms of sexism, which accumulate over time, leading to feelings of being unheard and undervalued. For example, many girls may receive toys or equipment, like pink hockey sticks, that are designed to make them feel less serious about their interests, creating a narrative of inadequacy. This 'psychological paper cut' effect results in girls doubting their capabilities and feeling disconnected from their ambitions, which can have long-lasting consequences on their confidence.
The Role of Parents in Combatting Unconscious Bias
Parents play a critical role in addressing their biases to foster empowered daughters. Dr. Finkelstein emphasizes that even well-meaning parents may inadvertently dismiss their daughters' opinions, often favoring their sons in conversations. She advocates for 'R&R parenting,' which encourages adults to recognize and replace harmful behaviors with supportive practices that validate girls' voices. For instance, a mother, upon recognizing her tendency to shut down her daughter's opinions, acknowledges this shortcoming, allowing for a more open and empathetic dialogue that affirms the daughter's feelings and opinions.
Teaching Consent and Feminism to Youth
Discussing complex topics such as sexism and consent with children requires a thoughtful approach. Dr. Finkelstein suggests starting conversations early, even with young kids, by modeling discussions about boundaries and consent in interactions. Parents can use everyday scenarios, like watching a show together, to illustrate themes of inequality and bias. By framing these discussions in a way that empowers children to recognize and question societal norms, parents can help their kids develop a strong sense of self and a critical awareness of the challenges of gender dynamics.
How do the messages you received as a child impact the way you parent your own kids? What if we could raise the next generation to be more empowered, resilient, and free from limiting gender stereotypes? To explore these questions, I’m joined by clinical psychologist and author of the new book, Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World, Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein, PhD.
As an expert in feminist parenting, Dr. Finkelstein is here to illuminate how even the most well-intentioned and progressive of us unconsciously transmit harmful messages. Jo-Ann and I explore the importance of both validating girls’ experiences, and opening parents’ eyes to the ways we unintentionally shut down our daughters. Whether you're a parent or not, you do not want to miss this conversation!