Ep 32 - What Happens When a Married Couple Starts Swinging? This Couple Talks About Having Trust and Setting Boundaries Part 2

May 28, 2025

Join Candace and Derek as they dive into the wild world of swinging, discussing how it transformed their marriage. They tackle subjects like religious shame, self-discovery, and the evolution of their sexual identities. Communication shines as they share strategies for managing jealousy and setting boundaries. Experience the rollercoaster of their first swinger party, including the sensory overload and lessons on consent. This candid exploration reveals how swinging is an enriching addition, not a solution, to a strong relationship.

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ANECDOTE

Religious Upbringing Shaped Early Shame

Candace described waiting for marriage due to religious upbringing but having had anal beforehand and feeling shame.
Joining the lifestyle helped her accept her sexuality and reduced that shame as she explored bisexuality with Derek.

INSIGHT

Shame Often Masks Fear Of Social Loss

Derek notes shame about lifestyle is often fear of losing friends or family, not self-disgust.
This distinction explains why people hide kink rather than reject it internally.

ANECDOTE

Pegging Began From Porn And Escort Work

Candace introduced pegging after watching porn and discovering she enjoyed using a strap-on as a pro.
Derek, bisexual, embraced it and their power dynamics evolved with her dominant role and his submissive preference.

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In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m back with Candace and Derek for Part 2 of our conversation, and trust me, it’s even juicier than the first. From pegging to big dick fantasies to how swinging became part of their love story. This is a real, vulnerable, and hilarious look into intimacy, growth, and letting go of shame.

We dive deep into how religious upbringing impacted Candace’s early sexuality, and how swinging became the unlikely key to her self-love and confidence. They open up about power dynamics, gender roles, jealousy, and the emotional safety it takes to build something that lasts even when other people are watching. We talk about everything from consent violations in group spaces to what it means to hold each other emotionally through sex with others. This isn’t your average swinger story. It’s a masterclass in communication, trust, and letting yourself be seen.

If you’ve ever wondered what real intimacy looks like when you add kink, faith, and a whole lot of dirty talk into the mix, this episode is for you. Tune in to hear how Candace and Derek turned religious pressure into empowered pleasure, and how they’re still rewriting the rules of what love and connection can look like.

Episode Highlights:

01:27 Exploring Sexuality and Self-Acceptance

04:13 Balancing Religion and Lifestyle

24:41 First Swinger Party Experience

29:49 Positive Feedback and Consent

37:32 Setting Boundaries and Communication

41:08 Handling Jealousy and Self-Discovery

42:45 Advice for Couples

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