MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel

ADHD and people-pleasing: Why can’t you stop?

6 snips
Sep 9, 2025
People-pleasing can be a coping mechanism for women with ADHD, often stemming from feelings of overwhelm and misunderstandings. The discussion delves into how this behavior manifests and the hidden costs it incurs, like emotional exhaustion. Dr. Monica Johnson shares practical strategies to break free from the cycle, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing personal needs. This insightful conversation sheds light on the unique challenges that come with ADHD and offers encouragement for a healthier mindset.
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INSIGHT

People-Pleasing As An ADHD Survival Strategy

  • People-pleasing in ADHD is often a survival strategy shaped by heightened rejection sensitivity and reward-seeking momentum.
  • Executive function limits make declining in the moment and planning boundaries especially hard.
ANECDOTE

Concrete Behaviors That Mask ADHD

  • Monica gives concrete examples: saying yes quickly then regretting it, over-apologizing, perfectionism camouflage, conflict avoidance, and role shifting.
  • These examples show how people-pleasing behaviors hide ADHD struggles and adapt to social risks.
INSIGHT

Why ADHD Amplifies People-Pleasing

  • ADHD increases rejection sensitivity, immediate-reward bias, and executive load, all of which push people toward saying yes.
  • Social history of repeated micro-failures also turns overcompensating kindness into a repair strategy.
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