The Angry Therapist Podcast The 12 Principles of Secure Love + How to Fight Without Fighting
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Nov 12, 2025 Explore the 12 principles that foster secure relationships, emphasizing growth over perfection. Discover how to negotiate transparency while preserving autonomy in partnerships. Learn the importance of fighting fair and reframing conflict as a tool for longevity. The hosts share techniques like emotional aikido to defuse defensiveness. Daily connection rituals and intentional check-ins are highlighted to enhance intimacy and appreciation. Embrace vulnerability, showing the messy, authentic side of love.
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Protect The Primary Relationship
- Prioritize the safety and security of the primary relationship above external demands and people.
- Protecting the couple-first foundation benefits children and prevents outside forces from destabilizing the family.
Calibrate Transparency Together
- Transparency needs calibration between partners rather than an absolute rule of 'tell everything.'
- Couples must define what transparency looks like for their attachment styles to avoid codependency or cutoff.
Manage Third Parties Together
- Manage 'thirds' (friends, family, attractions) together and set boundaries that protect your couple dynamic.
- Actively handle external relationships that could threaten safety instead of letting them erode trust over time.