127 Understanding "borderline personalities" through Internal Family Systems
Dec 4, 2023
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This podcast explores the concept of emotional switching in individuals with borderline personality dynamics and discusses the struggles of establishing a coherent sense of self. It delves into the concept of internal family systems (IFS) and the roles of exiles, managers, and firefighters within a person's system. The criteria for borderline personality disorder is explored through an IFS lens, highlighting patterns of instability in relationships, self-image, and emotions. The podcast also announces an upcoming event discussing borderline personality dynamics and the reopening of applications for the resident Catholics community.
People with borderline personality disorder experience intense shifting between different parts of themselves, affecting relationships and self-image.
Internal Family Systems framework helps individuals make sense of their experiences, resolve conflicts, and develop self-compassion.
Understanding borderline personality dynamics through the lens of Internal Family Systems reveals the influence of different parts and their shifting dynamics.
Deep dives
Switching among parts and its impact on relationships and self-image
People with borderline personality disorder experience a pattern of intense shifting between different parts of themselves, affecting their relationships and self-image. The constant switching among these internal parts can lead to instability, making it challenging to maintain stable and meaningful connections with others. This switching occurs not only in emotions but also in one's sense of identity, thinking patterns, beliefs, and desires. For example, an individual with borderline dynamics may go from idolizing someone to demonizing them based on perceived disappointments. This intense switching can create emotional whiplash and make it difficult for outsiders to comprehend the internal experiences of those with borderline personality disorder.
The role of parts and the concept of self
Internal Family Systems (IFS) provides a unique framework for understanding borderline dynamics by viewing individuals as having different parts or sub-personalities. Each part within a person's system has its own distinct needs, emotions, beliefs, and interpersonal style. These parts often emerge in response to attachment injuries and unresolved trauma. The core of the person is their innermost Self, which acts as an active and compassionate leader. IFS helps individuals make sense of their experiences, resolve internal conflicts, and develop a more integrated understanding of themselves and others. It empowers individuals to embrace the complexity of their internal world and cultivate self-compassion.
Understanding the DSM-5 criteria through an IFS lens
Examining the DSM-5 criteria for borderline personality disorder through an IFS perspective reveals the influence of different parts and their shifting dynamics. The instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affect can be attributed to the constant switching among parts. For instance, a person may experience intense dysphoria or irritability due to the activation of one part followed by the emergence of another part with a different emotional state. The impulsivity and self-damaging behaviors associated with borderline dynamics can be understood as the result of certain parts taking drastic actions to distract from intense emotional experiences. By using the IFS framework to explore these criteria, a deeper understanding of borderline personality dynamics can be achieved.
Understanding Borderline Personality Dynamics
This episode explores the internal family systems (IFS) perspective on understanding borderline personality dynamics. It discusses the concept of parts within a person's system, including exiles, managers, and firefighters. Exiles carry unmet attachment and integrity needs, such as abandonment, shame, and grief, which can become dangerous if they take over. Managers focus on controlling and protecting, while firefighters act in emergency situations to stifle or distract from intense emotions. The episode then delves into the case of Tina, highlighting her exiles (abandoned exile and shame bearer), managers (approval seeker and hiding part), and firefighters (charmer, feisty protector, and self-punisher). The dynamic interaction between these parts leads to relational difficulties and intense emotional reactions.
The Breakdown in Tina's System
In this episode, the breakdown in Tina's system is explored as an extreme vignette of borderline personality dynamics. When her charmer part is rejected by her partner, Philip, the abandoned exile and shame bearer attempt to seek validation and soothing from him. However, the feisty protector and self-punisher emerge as firefighters to protect Tina from potential abandonment and shame. The conflicting responses of the feisty protector's anger and the self-punisher's remorse create chaos, leading to a complete collapse of Tina's hiding part. The episode touches on criteria from the DSM-5 related to unstable relationships, paranoid ideation, and recurrent suicidal behavior. It emphasizes the importance of understanding and addressing these dynamics through an IFS lens.
(Please note that sound effects are used in this episode and may be triggering to parts.)
In this episode, I take you inside the experience of Tina, a 32-year-old Catholic woman with “borderline personality” and introduce you to seven of her parts and how they switch inside her. These switches involve not only emotions, but all of Tina’s internal experience, so her parts are not merely transient mood states. We review the IFS understanding of innermost self, exiled parts, manager parts, and firefighter parts. And then we break down everything that happened in the restaurant in her conflict with her fiancé, Phillip, walking through each DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for BPD and seeing how her parts contributed to the symptom, getting to the “Why” of borderline behaviors.
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