Drawing the Line: Setting Boundaries for External Conflicts at Work

Keeping the Peace: Managing High Conflict Issues at Work
On this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill and Megan tackle how employers and managers can set healthy boundaries around discussing divisive societal issues at work. They provide guidance on creating a respectful, productive environment when employees have strong, differing opinions.

Bill and Megan explain that while online conversations may feel more hostile lately, research shows it’s often due to a small group of aggressive, status-driven people. When divisive issues come up at work, reasonable people tend to disengage, allowing bullies to dominate the dialogue. This can deteriorate workplace culture and community.

To maintain a cohesive team, leaders must set clear guidelines about acceptable communication. Bill suggests focusing on keeping conflicts impersonal and issues-based, not attacking people’s character. Megan adds that while managers have limited power to enforce culture alone, they can coach employees one-on-one on respectful communication.

HR can recommend coaching to improve behaviors vs. immediately firing staff. Employees feeling bullied should speak up, understand their options, and get assertiveness training if needed. With the right boundaries and empathy, organizations can productively navigate sensitive topics.

Questions we answer in this episode:

• How can managers discourage divisive talk when company policy is unclear?
• What coaching strategies can HR use for staff exhibiting bullying behaviors?
• What should employees do if they feel targeted by a workplace bully?

Key Takeaways:

• Research shows online hostility comes from a vocal minority of aggressive people.
• Leaders must set guidelines to keep conflict impersonal and issues-based.
• Coaching can help managers, HR, and staff communicate respectfully.
• Employees feeling bullied should speak up and understand their options.
• With the right boundaries, companies can stay productive despite disagreements.

Setting clear expectations while extending empathy enables workplaces to keep the peace during polarizing times. Tune in to hear Bill and Megan’s insightful guidance on fostering understanding.

Links & Other Notes

• BOOKS
  • Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them ― How to Stop Them
  • BIFF at Work: Your Guide to Difficult Workplace Communication
  • It’s All Your Fault at Work! Managing Narcissists and Other High-Conflict People
• COACHING & OTHER RESOURCES
  • Live Lab™: 1:1 Coaching for Managing High-Conflict Situations
    • Live Lab Writing: learn to write BIFF Responses to hostile email or any written communication
    • Live Lab Verbal: learn to have conversations with high-conflict people
    • Live Lab Boundaries: learn to set limits with high-conflict people
  • Coaching for Employees
• TRAINING FOR WORKPLACE PROFESSIONALS
  • New Ways for Work® Coaches Training (for human resources, employee relations, and other coaches)
• Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
• Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
• All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
• You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
• (00:37) - External Issues Brought Into the Workplace
• (02:10) - Are People Becoming More High Conflict Online?
• (05:26) - Online Conflict Attractive to HCPs?
• (08:25) - Who's Doing More Bullying?
• (11:38) - Rules to Avoid Dominating the Conversation
• (14:36) - What Should an Organization Do?
• (21:53) - When Lacking Internal Support
• (23:03) - Setting Guidelines
• (24:29) - HR or Employment Relations
• (27:02) - When the Employee
• (31:19) - Wrap Up

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