Join Alex in a candid chat with couples therapist Dr. Orna Guralnik, delving into topics like the stigma around therapy, healthy disagreements, the psychology of toxic relationships, and the impact of past traumas. Orna shares tips on communication in the bedroom, and they explore the complexities of intimacy and codependency.
Couples therapy can help resolve conflicts and improve relationships without shame.
Understanding past traumas can influence relationship patterns and self-perceptions.
Effective communication and boundaries are essential for healthy relationships and overcoming toxic cycles.
Deep dives
Understanding the Thrill of Conflict in Relationships
Some people are drawn towards toxic relationships due to a repetition compulsion where unresolved past traumas or dynamics are replayed. Toxic relationships can reinforce self-perceptions, leading individuals to seek situations that reflect their views of themselves. This cycle, although self-negating, can stem from masochistic tendencies, creating patterns that can be detrimental without being consciously recognized.
Revisiting Childhood Traumas through Psychoanalysis
In psychoanalysis, patterns emerge where individuals recreate their childhood traumas in adult relationships. An extreme example includes those who were sexually abused as children seeking abusive relationships later in life. Such individuals may engage in self-punishing cycles, perpetuating a negative self-image that requires deep therapeutic work to break free from.
Healing Trauma and Reclaiming Self-Worth through Therapy
Therapeutic approaches, like psychoanalytic work, aim to revisit past experiences to help individuals confront and heal from childhood wounds. By addressing neglected areas and exploring ways to improve, therapy empowers individuals to reshape their self-perceptions, reclaim their autonomy, and prevent past traumas from defining their present and future.
The Importance of Recognizing Trauma's Impact on Relationships
Acknowledging past traumas is essential in relationships as they can manifest in various ways, affecting intimacy and communication. Couples may differ in the significance of sex within their relationship, revealing diverse perspectives on its role. Understanding how childhood experiences shape attachment styles and expectations can shed light on relationship dynamics and potential sources of conflict.
Navigating Communication and Boundaries in Relationships
Effective communication in relationships involves expressing needs sensitively and avoiding codependent patterns. Distinguishing between genuine care and unhealthy enmeshment is crucial to healthy interactions. Slowly building intimacy through non-verbal cues and translating concerns into constructive requests can foster mutual understanding and strengthen emotional bonds.
Join Alex in the studio for an insightful interview with esteemed couples therapist, Dr. Orna Guralnik. Orna explains what to expect in couples therapy, when it’s the right time for you and your partner to go, and why there should be no shame in working on your relationship. They discuss how to have healthy disagreements, what a “lived in” relationship looks like, and how there’s usually more to an argument than meets the eye. Alex even opens up and reveals things about herself and her relationship that she’s never spoken about publicly before including her decision to go to couples therapy. Then, Orna gives some of her best tips for how to communicate your wants and needs in the bedroom and what role sex plays in a healthy relationship. Finally, they talk about the psychology behind why people are drawn to toxic relationships and ultimately stay in situations that don’t benefit them. Enjoy!
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