Welcome to episode 13 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is sex and relationship coach; Pam Costa. In this episode, Pam talks about how she began her journey into educating people about sexuality, the ways in which shame can shape our sexuality and how you can build shame resiliency.

After a decade and a half at Apple and Facebook, Pam left her career in high tech to found Down To There to share her real-life stories of challenges and successes around sexuality in her marriage. She hopes that her journey from struggling with sexual desire to a now rich and rewarding sex life can provide an example of how normal issues with desire can be, and how these issues can provide unexpected pathways for increased intimacy and connection.

As a Somatica® sex and relationship coach, she enjoys working with individuals and couples of all configurations to explore what is possible emotionally and erotically in their relationships. She is currently accepting and seeing clients over Skype and in-person in her office in Cupertino, CA. She also provides content and guidance for Down To There Circles: free, peer-led discussion groups, where friends can support and inspire each other around sex and relationships.

Her ongoing studies include training with San Francisco Sex Information (SFSI), American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT), JFK University's holistic counseling program and the Somatica® Institute.

Her writing has been featured on Huffington Post, Mindful and Psyched and she has also spoken at the Wisdom 2.0 and Inman conferences.

In this episode, you will hear:

• How Pam began her journey into educating people about sexuality
• The ways in which shame can shape our sexuality
• Body shaming; and how it can affect sex
• The difficulties in communicating what you want sexually, leading to vulnerability
• How poor sex education can lead to shaming
• Not having enough information on sex from our parents
• The affects religion can have on sex and correct information around sex
• Mixed messages that children can pick up from their parents about sex
• Identifying your own shame and figuring out where it came from
• Being scared to share your shame with your partner
• Building shame resiliency
• How shame can affect other things outside of sex; eating disorders, addictions etc.
• Communicating with your close friends about shame

Resources

https://www.downtothere.com

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