558: Introducing Our New Book, "The Score That Matters," (With Brook Cupps)
Dec 14, 2023
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Basketball coach and author Brook Cupps discusses the importance of living according to your inner scorecard and aligning with your values. They explore the power of building trust through shared experiences and the significance of eulogy virtues. Preorder 'The Score That Matters' book mentioned in this episode.
Living by your inner scorecard, aligning with your values, and focusing on purpose leads to fulfillment.
Creating a culture of open communication and feedback fosters growth and self-awareness within a team.
Setting process-oriented goals that align with core values enhances effectiveness and overall contentment.
Deep dives
The Genesis of the Book
The podcast episode introduces a new book called 'The Score That Matters,' co-written by the speaker and his mentor, Brooke Cups. The book originated from a video course recording session that turned into a transcription, prompting the realization that it could be transformed into a book. The goal of the book is to help readers create and live by their core values, emphasizing the importance of inner scorekeeping over outer validation. The podcast episode highlights the impact of working with a brilliant and cooperative co-author in shaping the book's content and the speaker's personal growth in living by his inner scorecard.
Defining Success
The episode discusses the concept of success and differentiates between outer scoreboard and inner scoreboard. The speaker prompts reflection on how people truly define success, sharing a conversation he overheard where one person measured success by accomplishments and material possessions, while the other defined it as being wanted by your loved ones even when you're not obligated to be present. The speaker emphasizes the importance of focusing on the inner scoreboard, detaching from societal expectations, and finding fulfillment in what truly aligns with one's core values, ultimately advocating for living a purposeful life rooted in authenticity.
Creating a Culture of Feedback
The episode delves into the practice of providing and receiving feedback within a team environment. The speaker challenges traditional approaches to naming team captains, highlighting the potential hierarchy and limitations it imposes on feedback flow. Instead, the speaker opts for a culture where everyone is empowered to uphold the program's standards and feels safe to give and receive feedback. The episode discusses strategies like debrief sessions and core value-based recognize moments of excellence, aiming to create an environment that fosters open communication, growth, and self-awareness for all individuals on the team.
Building Trust through Laughter, Crying, and Suffering Together
The podcast episode explores the importance of building trust within a team or organization. The host emphasizes the value of creating a culture where team members can be open, vulnerable, and honest with each other. This is achieved by encouraging moments of laughter, sharing personal experiences that elicit tears, and going through challenging situations collectively. The goal is to establish a sense of safety and trust that fosters stronger relationships and ultimately leads to better team performance. By highlighting the moments of greatness and connecting them to core values, the team reinforces the behaviors that build trust and contribute to their collective success.
The Power of Setting Process-Oriented Goals
The podcast episode discusses the difference between results-based goals and process-oriented goals. The speaker argues that focusing solely on achieving specific outcomes can be limiting and less effective. Instead, they advocate for setting goals based on the behaviors and actions that align with core values. By concentrating on the process and consistently exhibiting the desired behaviors, individuals and teams can enhance their effectiveness and overall contentment. The host also emphasizes how this approach can positively impact various areas of life, including personal relationships and professional endeavors. The podcast encourages readers to embrace this mindset as it has the potential to transform their lives for the better.
Order The Score That Matters NOW. CLICK HERE. In The Score That Matters, Ryan Hawk and Brook Cupps show that the internal score is what matters most—it reveals whether we are living in alignment with our purpose and values. Offering both descriptive and prescriptive advice and anecdotes, The Score That Matters will help you unlock true fulfillment and happiness by discovering your purpose, identifying your values, creating critical behaviors, and living them faithfully every day in all aspects of your life.
“The big question about how people behave is whether they’ve got an Inner Scorecard or an Outer Scorecard. It helps if you can be satisfied with an Inner Scorecard.” - Warren Buffet – The inner scorecard is about eliminating comparison with others and living in alignment with what’s most important to you. Your values and the behaviors to match those values.
The inner scorecard eliminates the comparison of things.
How to build trust? Laugh together, cry together, suffer together (do hard things).
Resume virtues versus Eulogy virtues. We’ll get caught up in living for our resume (promotions, money, objects) if we're not intentional. We think it’s better to live for your eulogy virtues (the impact you had on people, fulfilling your purpose, living in alignment with your true values)
Why a strong purpose beats a good plan: we explain how a strong purpose erases obstacles, is never about you, and is highlighted by considering death.
Why being the greatest is a mirage: While greatness is a process that is attainable for all, we share why becoming the greatest is a destination that no one can reach.
How to navigate the tricky art of building trust: Throughout 25 years of teaching and coaching Brook has refined the trust-building process to 3 simple actions every leader can use.
How to fight the poison of comparison: Our focus on a consistent process over the societal pursuit of results seems contradictory to excellence but just may lay the foundation for its attainment.
Why self-awareness is not a solo flight: The feedback we seek from special people in our life, our foxhole, reminds us that we are tougher together.
Why team captains are overrated: Brook connects how the shared ownership of a team is best when all members assume the responsibility of upholding the standards.
How plain and simple can bore you right to excellence: We like to complicate success, but we point back to a consistent return to the fundamentals.
Brook originally learned about creating and living his core values from Coach Dick Bennett's "Pillars of Success."
Brook's values are: Tough, Passionate, Unified, and Thankful.
My values are: Thoughtful, Thankful, Curious, and Consistent.
Foxhole friends are disagreeable givers. They are kind enough to give you honest feedback. And you do the same for them.
Thankful Thursdays
Send a text message, email, or handwritten note to three people you're thankful for every Thursday.
Push the pace... Full-court pressing and always running a fast break on offense is living up to Brook's value of speaking and acting with urgency (unified).
How Brook coaches his team to play: "Our anchor defensively isno comfort, no vision.We want you to never be comfortable. And we want the same thing offensively. We say simple and together, but we think of pressing you offensively too. We don't want you to be comfortable. We want you to be on your heels."
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