Sympathy and Empathy are Not the Same Thing

I have witnessed first hand the difference between sympathy and empathy when I worked with two different companies.

In the first company, there was a relatively new employee being introduced to a senior leader.

The new employee was talking about how nervous she was, how she wanted to make an impact, and how she wasn't sure she was doing a good job.

The senior leader said, "That's pretty tough, I'm sorry that you feel that way. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll be able to get through it. "

A couple of months later, the same thing happened at another company.

The senior leader sat down with the employee and asked her to share more about her fears and struggles within the company.

The senior leader also shared his experience when he was new and told her that he's always there to help her.

That is the difference of sympathy and empathy.

The first leader just showed sympathy by saying "I'm sorry".

The second leader showed empathy by putting himself in the employee's shoes and matching his emotions by relieving his past.