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1213: Orion Taraban | Understanding Relationship Economics Part Two

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Sep 25, 2025

Guest

Orion Taraban

Orion Taraban, a psychologist and author specializing in relationship economics, delves into the transactional nature of relationships. He reveals how dating apps skew desirability towards a small percentage of men, distorting perceptions of choice. Taraban contrasts love's self-sacrifice with the transactional dynamics of relationships. Social media impacts women's choices and market power. They also explore how desires can be thwarted by unattainable preferences and predict that AI may fulfill emotional needs, reshaping future attachments.

01:16:51

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INSIGHT

Dating Apps Created Winner-Take-All Markets

Dating apps became mainstream and now produce structural winner-take-all outcomes in matching.
This mainstreaming changed how people perceive choice and desirability.

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INSIGHT

Matches Concentrate On Few Profiles

Dating apps heavily concentrate attention on a small fraction of men while leaving many others with few matches.
This creates distorted perceptions of abundant choice for some and near-invisibility for others.

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ANECDOTE

Lunch With A Model Shows App Disparity

Orion describes taking lunch with a model friend who got dozens of matches while similarly successful friends got none.
The anecdote illustrates how appearance and perceived market rank dominate app outcomes.

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Why dating apps concentrate attention on few men

02:08 • 3min

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How physical traits and filters skew app outcomes

05:20 • 7min

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Power dynamics in professional and romantic markets

12:01 • 5min

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Timing life choices: women, careers, and fertility tradeoffs

16:51 • 4min

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Attraction vs. traits: why youth often wins

20:43 • 3min

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Misreading the other sex’s preferences

Age gaps, consent, and social reactions

29:48 • 2min

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Who objects and why: audience reactions to realism

31:44 • 4min

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Are relationships transactional or sacred?

35:14 • 4min

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Love vs relationship mechanics

Origins of romantic monogamy and courtly love

55:12 • 5min

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Why unobtainability fuels desire

01:00:01 • 4min

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Does religion create monogamy norms?

01:04:30 • 5min

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AI relationships and the future of attachment

01:09:29 • 3min

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Psychological needs determine relationship satisfaction

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Relationships are more transactional than we admit. Psychologist Orion Taraban explains what men and women actually want versus what they say! [Pt 2/2 — be sure to catch Pt 1/2 here!]

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1213

What We Discuss with Orion Taraban:

Dating apps heavily favor the top one to five percent of men, leaving many others with few matches, creating distorted perceptions of choice and desirability.
Relationship power dynamics mirror economics — the more power one partner holds, the more they shape outcomes and get their needs met.
Love and relationships differ: love is self-sacrifice, while relationships are transactional exchanges of unequal but comparable value.
Social media distorts desires — women often pursue “doing it all” because that’s what they see others doing, even if the order of life choices blocks future goals.
Actionable takeaway: Build strong, resilient relationships by focusing on reality, not ideals — plan strategies around what is, not what “should be,” and invest consistently in exchange and growth.
And much more...

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