On radical love, accountability and truthful community w/ Aubrey Marcus

Note: you can watch the Youtube version of this podcast here.

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Well, the saga around Aubrey Marcus continues.

You may recall a few weeks back when I spoke about Aubrey, an American entrepreneur, influencer, and “psychonaut”, who released an episode of his podcast with his wife Vylana, their lover Alana, and their mentor Marc Gafni.

The main reveal was that during a trip to Egypt, Aubrey received a “download” from the goddess Isis instructing him to “impregnate both women.”

They described this not as polyamory but as “radical monogamy.”

​Their episode originally titled “A New Pattern of Sacred Relationship" created a wide cultural ripple, sparking deep conversations around sex, relationships, monogamy/polyamory, spiritual bypassing, divine union, cult dynamics, and more.

In my initial response with Deus Fortier, a central point I emphasized was the crucial role of community in holding the intense energies of intimacy and sex — something we learned through our years documenting Tamera, the radical “free love” community in Portugal, and featured in our film The Village of Lovers.

Following that newsletter, a mutual friend connected me directly with Aubrey. I invited him and his partners to watch The Village of Lovers. They did - and they loved it.

This opened the door for a deeper, more nuanced conversation directly between Aubrey and I, which is available now.

In this new interview, Aubrey and I explore:

* The cultural impact and backlash to his original podcast — and whether he can truly receive and integrate some of the core critiques rather than dismiss them only as a “witch hunt.”

* His evolving understanding of power, influence, and community accountability — including reflections on the risks of spiritual grandiosity.

* The difference between personal sovereignty and relational ecology, no matter your relationship container

* The question of whether “downloads” or divine guidance can ever be fully trusted outside a community context.

* The tension between individual desires and collective responsibility in love and intimacy.

* What it would look like to truly embed these experiments in a supportive, truth-telling community.

Rather than a debate or a takedown, this is a respectful invitation to wonder together.

We seek to illuminate the edges and complexities of relational evolution - for ourselves and for all who are navigating love in these turbulent times.

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Note: This conversation has already been out almost a week, and while I’ve received a number of positive reviews, I want to address one of the main criticisms: my decision not to bring up the presence and influence of Marc Gafni. Someone even made the assertion that Aubrey must have “made a deal” with me prior to the interview.

In truth, Aubrey and I didn’t speak at about what we would cover.

I made the call for two reasons:

Watching almost 2 hours of a podcast where Aubrey interviews Marc and his partner Kristina Kincaid spend a lot of time speaking to the controversy from their perspective.

Aubrey also responded to the controversy around Marc in the follow up newsletter to the the “Sacred Relationship” podcast:

"Finally as a last note, I’ve already addressed the historic controversy surrounding our lineage teacher Dr. Marc Gafni in a podcast that I did with his life partner Kristina Kincaid. I’ve read the published letters of analysis from those who have analyzed the issues well, and spoken to people who have known him for decades. I trust his goodness and his greatness. But more important than any of that, is what I feel in my own body after the hundreds of hours we have spent together with him and his partner. Whether that is grieving together for ten days after the death of my father, grinding out sets with a barbell, or raising cups of wine with a bellowing “CHAAAAAAA.” He’s a brother, he’s my teacher, and he’s not my guru. Marc has been unwaveringly loving and fair to each of us individually in this relationship process, seeking only to serve our own highest sovereign will."

To be clear: do I believe the presence of Marc and his influence is troubling? Yes. Do I find it odd that he plays in the original conversation with Vylana and Alana, where he contributes to the confusing and spiritual jargon? Yes.

And yet, confronting Aubrey one more time about this did not seem a worthwhile avenue given he would have just repeated what he's already said. There was zero chance, in my opinion, about him changing is stance.

And overall, my conversation aimed to be about Aubrey and his relational explorations with his partners, and not about Marc Gafni.

There are plenty of podcasts and videos out there that critique Marc and Aubrey.

The goal in my conversation with Aubrey was not to cover all the bases, but to bring in some additional pieces that would contribute to the collective feedback loop.

Once again, you’re invited to watch The Village of Lovers to understand more deeply the lens I was attempting to offer.

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