The Mythic Masculine

Greetings friends. By now you have likely heard about, if not already listened to, Aubrey Marcus’ podcast “A New Pattern for Sacred Relationship.” If you haven’t I would recommend at least check out the first 30 minutes. Last weekend I listened to the whole thing, all 2.5 hours. I've also read and watched a number of responses to it (and there are many).Some folks call him a "false king" who is not a "real man". Others say the women (his wife and their lover) are being manipulated and have lost their own inner compass.Marc Gafni, their mentor (also featured on the podcast) calls them "evolutionary lovers in a field of erotic mystics" ... or something.It seems to have hit the cultural zeitgeist on sex, relationships, monogamy/polyamory, spiritual bypassing, divine union, cults, psychedelics, all of it.Just that alone has been fascinating to witness.A few days ago I posted an initial response on my Facebook. I also sent the episode to my friend and collaborator Deus Fortier, and he responded with is take here.I felt inspired to jump on a call today and record an emergent conversation between us. Enjoy! As named, you can stream my film The Village of Lovers.And check out Deus and I’s upcoming men’s offerings here: * Awaking the Wild Erotic (In-Person) * The Deep Masculine (Online)SHOW NOTES* 00:00 – Opening and framing: why this conversation matters now* 00:50 – Who is Aubrey Marcus? Context on his influence and subcultural position* 02:45 – Summary of the podcast episode: divine union, polyamory, and the “radical monogamy” claim* 06:50 – The Egypt “download”: Aubrey’s call to impregnate both women* 08:00 – Mark Gafni’s role as spiritual mentor and the atmosphere of unquestioned affirmation* 10:30 – Deus shares his initial unease and what made the episode feel “off”* 13:30 – The concept of krivda: when truth is wrapped in distortion* 17:00 – Power dynamics, spiritual bypass, and concerns about lack of transparency* 22:00 – Reflections on biological imperative and cultural conditioning around monogamy* 31:00 – Lessons from Tamara: embedment and forum as collective relational technologies* 40:00 – The danger of personal downloads without communal discernment* 44:00 – Deus’s personal journey of erotic healing, trauma, and moving at the speed of trust* 50:00 – How to offer better relational support to each other This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit themythicmasculine.substack.com/subscribe

Chris Kyle, co-founder of the Big Tent Summit, has nearly three decades of experience in men's work. He discusses the evolution of masculinity, highlighting the shift from traditional norms to a more emotionally engaged identity. Conversations cover fragmentation among men, the allure of toxic masculine archetypes, and the importance of integrating both masculine and feminine energies. The Big Tent Summit aims to connect leaders and promote healthy masculinity, encouraging a more mature and grounded path.

Minna Salami, an author and social critic, discusses her concept of 'Sensuous Knowledge,' which integrates emotional intelligence and embodied understanding. She critiques rigid Eurocentric frameworks and advocates for a more holistic approach to masculinity. The conversation dives into the importance of complexity and diversity in knowledge, the tension between mind and body in Western culture, and how embracing our sensory experiences can lead to a richer life. Salami also explores themes of life, death, and true transcendence through a multi-faceted lens.

Heads up - we’re taking AWE on the road this July! I’m pleased to share this conversation with my collaborator Deus Fortier, and two colleagues, Paul Simard and Robin Corlux, who are supporting us to bring our men’s ritual weekend to the Montreal region this July. AWE is more than a retreat - it's an initiation into erotic maturity, focusing on the Lover archetype. This archetype, which emphasizes relational consequence and interconnectedness, is crucial for cultivating a deeper sense of beauty and soul. In a culture that often glorifies the King and Warrior archetypes, AWE offers a unique opportunity for men to explore the more nuanced and vulnerable aspects of masculinity.The weekend is a blend of mythopoetic and body-centered therapeutic practices. Participants will engage in rituals, hear mythic stories, and work with symbols to explore their deep psyche, as well as somatic exercises to embody and express their emotional landscape. The goal is to create a safe and trusting environment where men can de-armor, build non-sexual intimacy with other men, and reclaim a trust and connection to a deeper masculine essence.The weekend is not just a one-time experience but an entry into a continual process of returning to the wellspring of the Lover archetype.If you’re in the region (Montreal, Toronto, New York, etc) consider joining us. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit themythicmasculine.substack.com/subscribe

The discussion dives deep into the hidden impacts of pornography on men today. It contrasts today's instant access to explicit content with the struggles of previous generations. The mythic loss resulting from this readily available imagery is deftly explored, revealing how it stifles personal imagination and authentic sexuality. Insights from mythtellers highlight the need for reconnecting to deeper erotic experiences. It’s a fascinating examination of how modern technology can distort masculine identity and intimacy.

Tyson Adams, a trauma-informed men’s coach and somatic bodyworker, shares his transformative journey from a 20-year pornography addiction to a life of empowerment and healing. He discusses the deep cultural silence surrounding male sexuality and the need for rites of passage. Tyson examines the psychological impact of porn, the quest for genuine intimacy, and the healing potential of celibacy and mindful self-pleasure. He urges men to reclaim their erotic sovereignty and foster a culture that honors sexuality as a sacred, life-giving force.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."I remember coming across this quote at Burning Man years ago. It's from writer and essayist Anais Nin. It struck me then, and it reverberates for me still.This photo was taken that year. That sky is particularly specific to that time of evening, as the heat of the day dissolves into gorgeous blue & purple hues.I remember my friends and I were stopped at an art piece, after gallivanting around the playa on our bikes, weaving in and out of the dust and denizens of Black Rock City.That year was the Temple of Transition, and it was a threshold that changed everything.It was then I learned of the role of grief and the necessity to come together in tending the endings that make us human. It was then I recognized my marriage was over, even though it was another year before we parted ways.Recently I had the impulse to look up the words from Anais Nin, and discovered the rest of the quote:"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live. Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat. Perfection is static, and I am in full progress."I love that. That a live worth living is not one of striving for success, but a willingness to fail again and again. This is how one comes to know life. To blossom is a risk. To expose your vulnerability, your authenticity and your creativity is to expose yourself rejection. To dare to become. Somewhere in there, your soul comes alive. This is the spirit of my upcoming Awakening the Wild Erotic, an ritual immersion for men release dysfunctional patterns around “eros,” the primal force of life, and step into a new phase of aliveness. This will our 5th time running the event, and men have found the container incredibly valuable. Upcoming AWE Dates: April 4-6, 2025 Vancouver Island has a few spots left. (Last chance to apply now!) We are also bringing AWE to the Montreal area July 25-27, 2025. Get the full details and apply here.Podcast RoundupOver the last few months I’ve been featured in a number of great podcasts. I figured I’d round them up as a digest and share below. The Authentic Man - Mythopoetic Masculinity and Navigating Conflict in RelationshipI really enjoyed this conversation with David Chambers, where we cover a number of topics, including: Domination vs. Partnership Culture, Reconditioning for Connection, Support systems for couples, Regenerating Culture, The Power of Deep Partnership, Understanding and Dealing with Jealousy, How to deal with conflict in a relationshipEvolving Man - Iron John And The Foundations Of Mythopoetic MasculinityA solid conversation with my longtime friend Ben Goresky. In this episode, I share my journey into the mythopoetic men’s movement, which explores masculinity through myth, initiation, and men’s groups. I open up about how the death of my grandfather led me to this work and helped me understand the challenges of modern manhood, especially in a culture that lacks clear rites of passage. We discuss the archetypes of the Hero and the King, dive into the themes of Iron John, and explore the importance of men’s circles for personal growth and emotional support. We also reflect on the rediscovery of lost initiation practices, reconnecting with passion, and embracing The Deep Masculine to navigate life's stages and challenges.The Smiling Human - Myth as Medicine: Addressing the Crisis of MeaningIn this conversation, Oak Mountain and I discuss the themes of mythopoiesis, masculinity, and the cultural narratives that shape our understanding of identity. We cover the importance of myth in making sense of the human experience, the evolution of masculinity through different cultural eras, and the current crisis of meaning faced by many men today. RiverFlow - Weaving Love, Eros & Men’s WorkIn this episode, Harry Friedman and I explore into rich territory. We explore the metaphor of polyamory as a wetland and “relational exclusivity” as a river, to understand different approaches to love and relationships. We dive into the traditional views of elder mentors around marriage and matrimony, contrasting those with the ideas of free love and open relating, particularly those espoused in the Tamera research project. We also discuss how romantic relationships can serve as vehicles for healing, while community plays a crucial role in the broader process of personal and collective healing.Tripping with Nick SunFinally, you’re invited to check out this episode with Nick Sun', whose podcast “seeks to explore the fundamental question: How do we live as human beings during these crazy times without losing our freaking minds?”Thanks for reading. P.S. My Deep Masculine 3 month program is also live. There are pathways for both men & women. Get the full details here. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit themythicmasculine.substack.com/subscribe

In this engaging discussion, Simon Yugler, a psychedelic therapist and author of 'Psychedelics & the Soul,' explores the rich intersections of myth, psychedelics, and personal transformation. He delves into the archetypal landscapes revealed through psychedelic experiences and the cultural narratives shaping our time. Simon highlights the importance of integrating these experiences into daily life, emphasizing storytelling and mythopoetics. The conversation also touches on political polarization, urging a deeper understanding of societal challenges through a mythological lens.

In this discussion, the impact of 1999 films like 'American Beauty' and 'Fight Club' on perceptions of masculinity is explored. Both characters struggle with consumerism and a sense of emptiness in life. They symbolize the archetype of the Domestic Man, reflecting on their lack of purpose. The conversation dives into the quest for personal awakening and embracing a deeper masculine identity. It emphasizes the importance of community, ritual, and brotherhood in rediscovering inner strength.

My guest today is the renowned Starhawk, a writer, activist, permaculture designer and teacher, and a leading voice for ecofeminism and earth-based spirituality. She is the author of thirteen books, including The Spiral Dance, The Earth Path, and The Empowerment Manual: A Guide for Collaborative Groups, as well as the visionary novels The Fifth Sacred Thing and City of Refuge.She directs Earth Activist Training, which combines regenerative design with spirit, social permaculture, and activism, offering courses both online and in person.In our conversation today, we begin with acknowledging the fires that have ravaged Los Angeles. We explore how the frame of ecofeminism connects this tragedy to how unequal power relations affect all aspects of life, with violence against women reflecting a similar disrespect for the earth. Starhawk eloquently explains how we might challenge these systems of oppression, offering frameworks for compassion and transformation.We delve into the misinterpretations of feminism, the role of mythology in shaping cultural narratives, and how visionary fiction can illuminate paths to a sustainable future. Her novel The Fifth Sacred Thing is a central inspiration for our discussion, particularly the exploration of how creative non-violence might confront a fascist regime and lead to true societal transformation.We also consider the role of men in social movements, focusing on the cultivation of authentic power, responsibility, and the capacity to truly love.The Mythic Masculine is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.LINKS* Starhawk on Substack* Starhawk on Facebook* Starhawk’s Official WebsiteDON’T MISSStarhawk will be joining us for Fugitive Futures, our 5 day online visionary summit. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit themythicmasculine.substack.com/subscribe