PsycHacks Episode 370: Frame cannot be shared (a ship can only have one captain)
Oct 23, 2023
The podcast discusses the concept of 'frame' in relationships, explaining why it cannot be shared due to compromise difficulties, differing interests, and imbalances over time. It also explores the idea of co-creating a frame in relationships and suggests role complementarity as an alternative to continuously changing frames.
AI Snips
Chapters
Transcript
Episode notes
Frame Is Singular And Binary
- Frame is defined as the world of the relationship and only one person can occupy another's frame at a time.
- In heterosexual relationships, either the man lives in the woman's frame or the woman lives in the man's frame; there are only two options.
Some Decisions Can't Be Compromised
- Many relationship decisions are non-compromisable, so simple averaging cannot resolve them.
- If partners want fundamentally different outcomes (e.g., kids or city), one person must concede to the other's frame for the relationship to continue.
Mutual Choice Still Produces Imbalance
- Even when partners initially agree on big decisions, subjective experiences will diverge over time.
- That divergence creates imbalance, so one partner will effectively live in the other's frame despite mutual construction.