How do we fix our desire for relationships with people that will inevitably become broken. And how do we stop ourselves from aligning healthy with boring? That’s what we’re talking about on this episode of Lovers and Friends. 

Attraction, whether emotional, physical, or psychological, is a complex process. It can be influenced by numerous factors, from biology to personal history. If someone finds themselves repeatedly attracted to individuals with certain undesirable characteristics (like the makeup of a fuckboy: charismatic but not reliable, fun to be around but not fun to be apart from because communication is not stable or when out of sight they’re unpredictable, they make big plans but don’t consistently make the small actions to move towards that goal especially when it comes to you, etc…), understanding the underlying causes and taking conscious steps to modify patterns of attraction can be beneficial. Here's a scientific, step-by-step approach:

Self-awareness and reflection 
Next, Examine past patterns
Understand the biology
Cognitive-behavioral techniques 
Increase self-worth
Expand your social circle
Educate yourself
Avoid idealization
practice mindfulness

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Extras in this episode

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