Why does faith feel different after you turn 40? Spiritual Director Tim Pynes. Episode 13.

Episode Takeaways:

Fly Fishing as Spiritual Practice

Fly fishing became a deeply spiritual practice for Tim, offering healing, rhythm, stillness, and connection to the divine.

The flow state it brings is similar to long drives without music or waiting on a surfboard—moments where the mind slows and the soul speaks.

It’s not about catching fish but about slowing down, being present, and finding clarity.

What is Spiritual Direction?

Spiritual direction is akin to mentoring for the soul—a relationship in which a more seasoned believer walks alongside someone seeking clarity, healing, or deeper intimacy with God.

Inspired by the Celtic concept of Anam cara ("soul friend"), a spiritual director listens deeply and helps individuals reflect on their lives and spiritual journeys.

It's not therapy or coaching but a form of sacred listening and mirroring that invites transformation.

The Role of a "Soul Friend"

A soul friend is not your best buddy or pastor, but someone you can be vulnerable and authentic with, without fear of judgment.

Tim emphasizes the value of someone “holding up a mirror” to reflect what’s really going on—hence his nickname, “The Velvet Hammer.”

First-Half vs. Second-Half of Life Faith

Many churches are excellent at supporting the first half of life (identity formation, habits, community), but less so in the second half (questions, mystery, intimacy with God).

Spiritual direction helps people in midlife ask: “What now?” when former practices or church structures no longer feel adequate or life-giving.

The journey becomes less about formulas and more about art, nuance, and presence.

Common Struggles Clients Face

Disenchantment with inherited theology or church structures.

Feeling distant from God despite doing all the “right things.”

A loss of spiritual vitality or excitement.

Questions about whether the spiritual path they’ve been on still fits them.

Deconstruction and Re-enchantment

Tim encourages people to honor their spiritual past without being bound to it.

Faith changes are developmental, not failures.

Clients often seek to re-enchant their faith—to experience vitality, awe, and a renewed sense of divine connection.

Practices to Reconnect with God

Journaling emotions daily with a sentence on how you feel and why.

Daily gratitude or “God sightings”, noticing divine presence in ordinary life.

Writing a personal psalm each day to express lament, joy, or frustration.

Paying attention to your desires, especially new ones that surface—these may be spiritual breadcrumbs.

Theology Checks and “Unsigned Contracts”

Many people operate under an unspoken contract with God: “If I do X, God will do Y.” Tim calls this “a contract God didn’t sign.”

Letting go of transactional theology is essential for spiritual freedom and maturity.

You can follow Tim’s Work at his website.

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