Savage Lovecast Episode 963

10 snips

Apr 15, 2025

A chill married lesbian grapples with her friend's surprise coming-out as pan, stirring up complex feelings. A wild tale unfolds about a woman's dog-related disaster as she discovers her boyfriend's son's secret. A poppers expert spills the beans on their history and current controversies. A submissive woman wrestles with heart feelings over her desire for a no-strings-attached experience. From identity to intimate mishaps, the discussions illuminate the fun and messy sides of relationships!

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INSIGHT

Privilege of Modern Coming Out

The privilege of coming out with celebration distinguishes newer generations from those who suffered consequences.
Eye-rolling at a "pansexual coming out party" reflects a mix of resentment and recognition of societal progress.

ADVICE

Handle Pets Responsibly, Communicate

Never confine dogs to a small room without proper supervision or expect them not to relieve themselves.
Clean thoroughly after accidents; address privacy and living arrangement issues openly with roommates or partners.

ADVICE

Separate Sexual and Romantic Feelings

Distinguish between sexual attraction and romantic feelings to avoid hurting partners unintentionally.
Stop dating men if romantic feelings do not develop, but you can continue sexual relationships if consensual.

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A chill married lesbian is a little annoyed to hear that her consistently straight friend, engaged to a man, has announced that she is pan. She is pan, but she plans to remain monogamous with her husband. What's more, she is throwing herself a coming-out-as-pan party. When the caller came out as lesbian, she got kicked out of the house. Is she an asshole to feel less than exhilarated by her friend's new sexual identity?

Yikes! Hear the unpleasant tale of the woman who shut her boyfriend's son's dogs in a room for so long, that they did what dogs do when shut in a room all day. Oh, and as she was cleaning the mess, she saw that the 20 year-old son had a sex toy.

On the Magnum, should you be stockpiling poppers? Dan brings on our favorite poppers expert, Adam Zmith, author of Deep Sniff: A History of Poppers and Queer Futures. He explains why gay men use them, a bit of their history, and what to do now that they're in the crosshairs of JFK Jr's FDA.

A submissive woman mistakes the swoony feelings she experiences during sub space, for genuine emotional connection. But she doesn't want emotional connection. She just wants to have some tied-up fun. How can she stop her heart from getting all hot and bothered?

Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064

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This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, father, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From poppers, to parenting, kissing to ghosting and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since days of old when magic ruled the air.