Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth 2740: The 4 Chemicals That Decide Who We Marry with Adam Layne Smith
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Dec 1, 2025 
Adam Layne-Smith, a seasoned relationship coach and attachment-science educator, shares insights on fostering secure marriages. He discusses the dynamics of big families and the 'business model' of marriage, illustrating how to balance attraction and commitment through understanding four key bonding chemicals. Adam emphasizes the importance of emotional safety, clear communication, and the roles of both partners in cultivating trust. He also touches on modern relationship challenges and the value of same-sex friendships for personal growth and accountability.
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Choosing A Large Family As Legacy
- Adam Layne-Smith described raising a large family as exhausting but deeply fulfilling and legacy-building.
- He framed many children as a long-term investment that creates lifelong support networks.
Treat Marriage Like A Business
- Treat marriage like co-founding a company with defined roles: man as CEO, woman as COO.
- Use the CEO mindset: receive problems, listen, and make final decisions with her input.
Relationship Chemistry Is A Stack
- Relationships rely on stacked neurotransmitters: dopamine for novelty, oxytocin for affection, vasopressin/serotonin for commitment, all divided by cortisol.
- Sustained bonding requires renewing attraction and commitment while managing stress levels.