Fast Company Daily Want someone to change their behavior? Psychology says nagging doesn’t work, but this mind trick does
Nov 28, 2025
Discover why nagging is more likely to backfire than inspire change. A study reveals that expressing gratitude can motivate partners to alter their behavior more effectively. Positive reinforcement is shown to boost self-esteem and motivation. Learn about practical strategies to support behavior change, like providing help when enthusiasm is high and eliminating obstacles. Experts advocate for replacing criticism with gratitude and open communication to create a more supportive environment for transformation.
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Personal Nagging Story
- Jessica Stillman describes her repeated nagging about her husband's laundry that produces no change.
- She uses this personal story to introduce why nagging often fails to change behavior.
Why Nagging Backfires
- Nagging signals low expectation and demeans the recipient, reducing their likelihood to change.
- This creates a cycle where more nagging produces more resentment and less compliance.
Gratitude Builds Motivation
- Expressions of gratitude increase a partner's motivation to continue making changes.
- The University of Toronto study found grateful partners made the biggest changes over nine months.
