Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families #1272 - Is The Mum I Hoped to Be Turning Up? With Victoria Vanstone
She thought parenting would be homemade cookies, flouncy dresses, and humming while folding laundry… but instead, she’s throwing plastic cups at walls.
In this hilarious, vulnerable, and unexpectedly heartwarming episode, Justin speaks with Victoria Vanstone—author, podcast host, and recovering party girl—about what happens when the perfect mum you imagined never actually shows up. From shouting matches and laptop guilt to near-death experiences and camping hacks, this conversation explores the wild reality of parenting and why just turning up—imperfectly—is more than enough.
KEY POINTS
- Victoria’s journey from party girl to mum (and how giving up drinking gave her back her life)
- The power of writing to reflect on and process parenting
- Why self-awareness trumps perfection every time
- Near-death moments and learning to live with risk as a parent
- The guilt of being too attached to work—and what she did to fix it
- Why camping within 5 km of home (and sneaking home to sleep) might be the ultimate parenting hack
- What it really means to “mum” with heart, humour, and honesty
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
"Having children means creating risk. Love means risking loss. And that’s parenting in a nutshell—heartwarming and heartbreaking, all in the same breath." — Victoria Vanstone
RESOURCES MENTIONED
- Mumming: A Year of Trying and Failing to Be a Better Parent by Victoria Vanstone
- A Thousand Wasted Sundays by Victoria Vanstone
- Sober Awkward podcast
- What Your Child Needs From You by Dr Justin Coulson
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
- Embrace imperfection. Stop waiting for the “ideal” parent to show up—just keep showing up, messy and real.
- Reflect and write. Whether you blog, journal, or just jot notes, self-awareness begins with reflection.
- Seek help when needed. Whether it’s therapy, support groups, or just a trusted friend—reach out.
- Put down the laptop. Create tech-free time zones at home where your child has your full attention.
Find your own hacks. Whether it’s camping close to home or hiring help, do what works for your family—without guilt.
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