How to Heal Your Relationship With Money and Scarcity with Lewis Howes
Apr 28, 2025
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Lewis Howes, bestselling author and host of The School of Greatness, dives into the emotional ties between money and self-worth. He discusses how childhood beliefs shape our financial attitudes and the importance of reshaping these beliefs to foster abundance. The conversation also tackles financial dynamics in relationships, emphasizing open discussions to avoid conflicts. They explore the paradox of wealth and emotional fulfillment, advocating for financial literacy, especially for women, to break unhealthy patterns and empower personal freedom.
Understanding one's relationship with money is vital, as it often mirrors self-worth and influences financial behaviors and beliefs.
Contrasting childhood experiences can shape adult financial mindsets, leading to either scarcity or abundance perspectives that impact financial decisions.
Open communication about money in relationships is essential for aligning values and fostering harmony, preventing conflicts around financial matters.
Deep dives
The Connection Between Money and Self-Worth
The relationship with money often reflects an individual's relationship with themselves, highlighting how self-worth can influence financial beliefs and behaviors. Feelings of insecurity, scarcity, and doubt can signal that healing is needed in one’s relationship with money. This emotional connection suggests that past experiences, especially from childhood, shape how people perceive and interact with money throughout their lives. Understanding one's money story and acknowledging existing wounds is essential to creating a healthier financial mindset.
Money Stories and Their Impact
Different childhood experiences can create contrasting beliefs about money, as illustrated by the speaker's reflections on their biological father and stepfather's relationship with finances. One instilled a scarcity mindset focused on clinging to money, while the other promoted an abundant view that valued spending. These conflicting narratives may result in confusion and inconsistency in dealing with money as adults. Recognizing and understanding these opposing money stories allows individuals to achieve greater harmony in their spending and saving behaviors.
Mindset Shifts and Behavioral Changes
A critical factor in overcoming financial barriers is the mindset surrounding money, as beliefs greatly influence behaviors. For instance, beliefs like 'I am not an earner' or negative associations with wealthy individuals can limit one's potential to earn and feel deserving of financial abundance. Positive mindset shifts, focusing on gratitude and generosity, create opportunities for attracting wealth and fulfillment. Recognizing that financial freedom stems from changing one’s internal narrative about money is vital to achieving a more prosperous life.
Healthy Financial Conversations in Relationships
Open dialogues about finances are crucial for couples to align their values and avoid conflicts down the line. Addressing money matters early in a relationship helps prevent miscommunications, allowing partners to understand each other's financial habits and priorities. Engaging in discussions about personal money stories can also reveal deeper insights into desires and expectations regarding finances. Establishing agreements around spending, saving, and shared financial goals fosters alignment and harmony in the relationship.
Healing Through Awareness and Reflection
Intentionally reflecting on past experiences related to money is a powerful process for healing emotional wounds and becoming financially empowered. Writing down one's money stories helps identify triggers and pain points, fostering awareness of how they manifest in current behaviors. Engaging with trusted mentors, coaches, or therapists can facilitate this healing journey, promoting growth and resilience. Ultimately, transforming the relationship with money requires ongoing self-examination and an openness to healing and change.
Your relationship with money is one of the most emotionally intimate relationships you have—and it’s time to start treating it that way. In this episode, Jillian welcomes bestselling author and host of The School of Greatness, Lewis Howes, to dive deep into what our financial habits, fears, and beliefs really say about us. Inspired by his new book, Make Money Easy, this conversation is about so much more than dollars and cents—it's about self-worth, safety, and the emotional wiring behind our financial behaviors.
