The Adversity Advantage with Doug Bopst How Love Dies: 13 Harsh Relationship Truths That Nobody Wants To Hear | Adam Lane Smith
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Sep 11, 2025 
In this engaging discussion, Adam Lane Smith, an attachment coach and relationship expert, shares his insights on love and relationships. He reveals the harsh truth about why passion fades and how to reignite it. Adam emphasizes the distinction between being 'nice' and 'kind,' while highlighting how validation-seeking ruins connections. The conversation dives into the importance of effective communication and how conflict can actually strengthen bonds. Learn how to navigate emotional dynamics and build trust for healthier relationships!
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Passion Dies But Can Be Rebuilt
- Passion's biochemical drivers (oxytocin and vasopressin) naturally decline but can be intentionally rebuilt.
- Rebonding requires shared problem-solving to trigger vasopressin, then oxytocin will follow.
Tackle Stressors As A Team
- Face challenges together and adopt a 'we're a team' mindset to build trust.
- Celebrate surviving stressors together to trigger bonding and strengthen monogamy.
Calm First, Talk Second
- Regulate your nervous system before important conversations to restore the prefrontal cortex.
- Pausing to calm down drastically improves your chances of a productive outcome.
