Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

256: Managing Anger as a Parent: The Two Types of Anger You Need to Know

Sep 29, 2025
Feeling guilty about your anger as a parent? Discover how anger can serve as a signal for necessary change in family dynamics. Learn about two types of parental anger: Values-Aligned Anger, which aims for positive change, and Reactive Anger, rooted in overwhelm. Jen introduces the HEAR method to help manage these feelings constructively. Explore how understanding the root of your anger can transform guilt into actionable steps for improvement, both at home and beyond.
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INSIGHT

Anger As Information Not Problem

  • Anger isn't only a problem to eliminate; it signals that something important is threatened or violated.
  • Anger activates attention and energy to identify problems and mobilize action.
INSIGHT

Two Distinct Types Of Parental Anger

  • There are two distinct kinds of anger: values-aligned (moral) and reactive.
  • Each type has different triggers, courses, and roles in motivating change or signaling overwhelm.
ANECDOTE

Examples Of Values-Aligned Anger

  • Jen gives examples of values-aligned anger like carrying the mental load or unfair school policies.
  • These angers point to systems and practices that deserve change rather than just individual coping.
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