Episode 7: Sexual Desire, and How to Increase It

Jul 24, 2020

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INSIGHT

Desire Differences Are Relationship Work

Sexual desire discrepancies are common because relationships always require compromise and negotiation.
Lack of language and modeling for sexual conversations makes resolution difficult and often leads to long-term discord.

INSIGHT

Desire Is Biopsychosocial

Sexual desire is driven by many factors including stress, medical issues, pain, and hormonal changes.
Treating low desire requires recognizing its biopsychosocial complexity rather than assuming a single cause.

ADVICE

Use Medication As An Adjunct, Not A Fix

Try behavioral interventions and education before relying solely on medication for low desire.
Consider medication as an adjunct to retrain brain pathways when combined with therapy or self-help strategies.

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One of the most common relationship problems that drives couples to therapy is a sexual desire discrepancy, where one partner wants more sex than the other. In fact, about 1 in 4 people report having experienced this in the past year alone. This can be a longstanding pattern or issue in a relationship, but it can also emerge when one partner loses desire over time. So how do you deal with this situation effectively?

In this episode of the podcast, I spoke with Dr. Lyndsey Harper, an Ob/Gyn at the Texas A&M College of Medicine and founder of the new mobile app Rosy. Dr. Harper developed Rosy as a tool to help women who are dealing with low sexual desire and desire discrepancies. Low sexual desire is the single most common sexual difficulty reported by women, with about 1 in 3 women reporting it in the last year. Low sexual desire is less common among men, but still prevalent: specifically, it’s reported by about 1 in 7 men in the past year.

We cover a lot of ground in this episode, including:

What are the factors that influence sexual desire, and how are they similar or different for men and women?
Why are desire discrepancies so common in long-term relationships?
What is the role of medication in treating low sexual desire? Can pharmaceuticals help to fix a loss of desire?
How can technology (including mobile apps like Rosy and telehealth services) help people deal with desire problems?
We also talk about some of the most common myths and misconceptions people believe about sex and sexual desire.

To learn more about Dr. Harper, see here. To learn more about Rosy or to download the app, see here.

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Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos and book covers used with guest permission.