Rick Eigenbrod, a clinical psychologist and co-author of a pivotal Yale paper, dives into the transformative journey after business success. He discusses the 'death of who we used to be' that entrepreneurs face post-exit, emphasizing the need for acceptance in this painful evolution. Rick unveils his effective tools for self-discovery, addressing dopamine addiction and the emotional toll of letting go of former identities. He highlights the bittersweet nature of personal growth, balancing joy, frustration, and the importance of authentic connections.
Post-exit entrepreneurs face an identity crisis that challenges them to redefine their purpose and core values beyond business success.
Isolation after a successful exit is common, but engaging with founder communities can provide essential support and validation during this transition.
Dopamine addiction can lead to restlessness post-exit, making it crucial for founders to seek fulfillment in quieter, meaningful experiences instead.
Deep dives
The Paradox of Success
Success often presents a paradox to entrepreneurs who have exited their businesses. While they might associate success with financial freedom and achievement, the transition into a new phase of life reveals that these gains can feel more like both a price and a prize. The realization that the exit is not an end but a new beginning prompts many to grapple with their identity and purpose. As they move forward, entrepreneurs must confront the uncomfortable truth that achieving what they longed for does not guarantee fulfillment or a clear path ahead.
Navigating Identity and Meaning
Post-exit, founders frequently experience a profound loss of identity as they transition from being business leaders to individuals seeking new meaning. The routines and structures that once defined their lives are stripped away, leaving a blank canvas that many find daunting. This disruption calls for introspection regarding their core values and what truly matters to them in this new chapter. Embracing this identity crisis can open doors to personal growth, allowing entrepreneurs to redefine their lives beyond mere business success.
The Role of Community and Support
Isolation often accompanies the post-exit experience, yet many founder communities are beginning to provide crucial support. These groups offer a space for sharing experiences, frustrations, and successes, which helps normalize the challenges faced after an exit. By engaging with others who have navigated similar transitions, founders can validate their feelings and learn that the post-success struggles are common. This companionship can foster a sense of belonging and ultimately aid in navigating the difficult terrain of personal reinvention.
Moving Beyond Dopamine Addiction
Entrepreneurs are often driven by a craving for dopamine, a habit that can become detrimental to their well-being post-exit. This addiction to excitement and achievement can leave them feeling restless and unsatisfied in the absence of their previous high-paced business life. Recognizing this addiction is the first step toward cultivating healthier habits and seeking fulfillment in quieter, more meaningful experiences. By learning to savor life's small joys and fostering inner peace, founders can transition into a state of greater emotional balance.
Finding Purpose in a New Context
The search for purpose often intensifies after an exit, challenging entrepreneurs to redefine what fulfillment means to them. As they begin to explore new paths, focusing on what truly matters to them can pave the way for deeper satisfaction. Rather than fixating on a new grand achievement, embracing smaller moments and recognizing what brings them joy can lead to more meaningful life experiences. This journey illustrates that purpose can evolve and should align with their values and aspirations beyond the confines of business success.
Rick Eigenbrod is a deeply respected thinker in the post-exit world.
A clinical psychologist and co-author of the classic Yale paper What’s Next: The Entrepreneur’s Epilogue, he’s spent years guiding founders through life after the exit as an executive coach.
In this conversation, we get into why Rick believes a “death of who we used to be” and a subsequent "re-birth" are inevitable post-exit, and how resisting these changes only adds to the struggle.
Rick generously shares the tools and exercises he’s found most effective in navigating this transformative process.
We also explore the grip of dopamine addiction, the healing power of legitimizing post-success frustration, simple ways to reconnect with our natural curiosity and playfulness, and the bittersweet reality of leaving some people behind as we experience exponential personal growth.
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TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00: Introduction
00:00:21: The paradox of success
00:00:43: Rick's background and contributions
00:01:04: Discussion on post-exit rebirth and struggles
00:01:12: Exploring dopamine addiction and post-success frustrations
00:02:30: Exploring the post-exit maze
00:02:45: Rick's background and experience with exited founders
00:04:47: Rick's critical event with Vistage group
00:06:09: The price and prize of money and freedom
00:07:52: Reflections on the dual meaning of success
00:08:53: Grappling with post-exit paradox
00:09:41: The "focusing illusion" and the arrival fallacy
00:11:12: The societal pressure to be happy post-exit
00:12:01: Support groups and legitimating experiences
00:13:08: Initial reactions and reflections on the post-exit reality
00:14:31: The societal issue of ignoring exited founders
00:15:33: The lack of support and self-blame post-exit
00:18:00: Escaping the blank sheet of paper
00:19:07: Dealing with loss of motivation
00:20:38: The challenge of striving without a company
00:22:21: Stories of loss of identity and success paradox
00:23:02: The impact on identity and structure post-exit
00:24:29: Avoiding the inclination to fill the void with the same elements
00:25:32: Closing the first business
00:26:18: Question of true desires and freedom paradox
00:27:19: Attempt to create a model from experiences
00:29:06: Journey from identity to meaning and structure
00:30:02: Revisiting personal development opportunities
00:33:16: Financial dangers post-exit
00:35:30: Paradox of money and its role
00:36:09: Evolution of the meaning of wealth
00:41:03: Refusal of the call and negative transfer of learning
00:44:10: Dopamine addiction as an obstacle
00:47:00: Fear of losing entrepreneurial identity
00:49:00: Navigating the journey of death and rebirth in personal growth
00:51:13: Leaving people behind during personal growth
00:52:29: Real journeys begin where fairy tales end
00:54:08: Redefining retirement and societal expectations
00:56:03: Advising young successful entrepreneurs
00:57:23: Identifying and addressing emotional struggles post-sale
00:58:46: Embracing a Mosaic Life
01:00:00: Communicating personal transitions to others
01:03:07: Returning to business after personal growth
01:05:00: Listening for truth, vitality, and fear in decisions
01:07:32: Distinguishing between legitimate fears and psychological barriers
01:09:08: Discernment of skill-related fears in new ventures
01:10:14: Transitioning from entrepreneur to investor
01:13:20: Rediscovering a sense of purpose post-exit
01:14:00: The search for meaning and what matters now
01:16:22: Two ways of knowing and going: Destination vs Direction
01:17:57: Understanding fulfillment and satisfaction
01:19:20: The importance of savoring moments
01:21:00: Stories about finding fulfillment
01:23:26: Legacy question
01:24:00: Discussion about dynamics of arrival
01:27:00: The role of intention in satisfaction
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