The Friendship Mindset: THE ART OF ACTIVE LISTENING

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00:00:34 Part one of the Friendship Mindset is the Art of Active Listening.

00:06:12 Pay Close Attention

00:09:17 Be Mindful of the Little Things

00:10:52 Help People Think Out Loud

00:16:03 Restate

00:17:16 Summarize

00:18:10 Reframe

• Give the gift of solid, respectful attention at all times. Listen generously, as though you are prepared to hear the value, the sense, and the meaning in everything you hear. Don’t let your desire to seem like a good listener get in the way of actually being one. Let people know you are listening with small verbal and nonverbal gestures.

• Try not to let your own perspective impair your ability to understand somebody else’s. Start from a position of ignorance and work your way up to real understanding, rather than making assumptions about what other people’s experiences mean.

• To be a good listener, practice restating what you are told, paraphrase that content in your own words, summarize what you’re hearing in a useful way (or else condense things by labeling the core emotion), then potentially reframe the story or gently suggest something new if this might help solve a problem or create an emotional resolution. Do this without assumptions, biases, or interpretations, but with a mind to truly understand the other person’s point of view.

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