I Wish You Knew Why Avoidant Men Struggle to Love (and How to Fix It)
Oct 3, 2025
In this engaging discussion, Adam Lane Smith, an attachment specialist and relationship coach, dives into the complexities of avoidant men and their struggles with love. He explains how avoidant attachment forms and its hidden stressors, while contrasting it with secure attachment styles. Adam shares insights on disorganized attachment, variations in avoidant behaviors, and practical steps to foster secure connections. Highlighting neuroplasticity, he emphasizes that transformation is possible at any age, providing hope and strategies for healthier relationships.
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Attachment Determines Life Quality
- Attachment shapes your relationships, happiness, and even physical health.
- Adam Lane Smith says attachment is the primary predictor of life quality and fulfillment.
Security Shows In Nervous System Regulation
- Secure people operate at low baseline anxiety and quickly self-regulate.
- Adam describes secure attachment as a calm, adaptable nervous system with intact prefrontal control.
Anxiety Fuels People-Pleasing Patterns
- Anxious attachment interprets neutral cues as threats and seeks approval.
- Adam notes anxious people live at higher chronic anxiety and overthink interactions to avoid abandonment.