Guest Tully O'Connor and host discuss fatherhood, intimacy, and connection. They cover topics like conscious conception, toddlerdom, sex expectations, family support, values, and communication. The conversation explores navigating parenthood, post-ejaculation neurochemical processes, brain's role in relationships, intense birth experiences, emotional sharing balance, fatherhood challenges, family values, and intentional intimacy in relationships.
Navigating intimacy and shared responsibilities in relationships requires open conversations and exploring emotional needs.
Assigned roles in relationships can lead to unspoken expectations and resentments, emphasizing the importance of communication about shared responsibilities.
Recognizing internal stories and separating facts from interpretations can reduce defensiveness and improve communication in relationships.
Acknowledging emotional complexities and communicating vulnerable feelings can strengthen intimacy and connection between couples.
Engaging in playful activities with children can teach valuable lessons about joy, presence, and savoring shared experiences.
Deep dives
Navigating Intimacy in Parenthood
Navigating intimacy and shared responsibilities in relationships can be complex. Couples benefit from open conversations about roles, avoiding assumptions and exploring emotional needs beyond just financial or practical tasks.
Challenging Assigned Roles
Assigned roles in relationships, like protect and provide, can lead to unspoken expectations and resentments. Conversations about shared responsibilities and emotional needs are crucial to avoid misunderstandings and miscommunications.
Addressing Unspoken Expectations
Unspoken expectations in relationships can lead to resentment and communication breakdowns. Recognizing internal stories and separating facts from interpretations can help reduce defensiveness and foster open conversations.
Embracing Vulnerability and Growth
Acknowledging emotional responses and internal narratives within relationships can lead to vulnerability and growth. By recognizing and communicating these emotional complexities, couples can strengthen their intimacy and connection.
Presence and Playful Interaction with Child
Being present and engaging in playful activities with his son has taught the speaker to value joy and enjoy the moment. By actively participating in creative and adventurous endeavors with his child, he is learning to let go of performative play and savor the simplicity and beauty of shared experiences.
Family Values and Decision-Making
Reflecting on family values such as vitality, adventure, and service/community helps the speaker make decisions aligned with these core beliefs. By recognizing the importance of values in guiding choices, including how time and resources are spent, the speaker aims to create harmony and alignment within the family unit.
Projecting Values onto Others
Acknowledging the tendency to project personal values onto others, the speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding and respecting differing perspectives. By recognizing the impact of projecting values and fostering acceptance of diverse viewpoints, the speaker aims to promote harmony and mutual understanding.
Exploring Personal Growth Through Family Values
Engaging in conversations about family values, including reflection on individual beliefs and areas for personal growth, serves as a learning tool for the speaker. By identifying shadows in personal values, such as the perception of play as wasteful, the speaker actively works towards self-improvement and a deeper understanding of individual values.
Continued Conversations and Exploration
Despite not delving into certain topics like spontaneous desire versus planned intimacy, the speaker and guest express anticipation for future discussions. By highlighting the value of diverse perspectives and the importance of varied discussions, the speaker remains open to further exploration and shared insights in future interactions.
On this extra long episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with my good friend Tully O’Connor. Tully is a committed father and husband who has a deep passion for supporting people to access their full creative potential in life, love and leadership. Through his transformational coaching programs and events, Tully supports men to cultivate more confidence, depth and fulfillment in every area of their lives. He also works with couples to support them in developing rock solid foundations for a secure, connected and intimate relationship. The two of us talk about being fathers and how our lives have changed since the birth of our sons. We talk about the ways in which we’ve had to navigate intimacy with our wives and the importance of intentionally connecting with them as well as with the men in our lives.