The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast Episode 353: How "Gray Rocking" Helps You Be a Non-Anxious Presence
Oct 20, 2025
Learn about 'Gray Rocking,' a technique for dealing with difficult people by acting boring and non-reactive. Discover how to maintain a neutral demeanor and deflect toxic interactions without conflict. Hear a personal story about using this method during a tense moment at a church. The discussion also touches on when gray rocking is most effective, especially in family dynamics. Finally, get four practical steps to implement this approach while understanding its temporary nature and the need for self-care.
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What Gray Rocking Actually Is
- Gray rocking means acting intentionally boring and neutral to avoid emotional reactions from toxic people.
- Cutting off emotional reactions deprives drama-seekers of the "narcissistic supply" they feed on.
Respond Without Emotion
- When provoked, respond without emotion using a neutral tone, brief eye contact, and disinterest.
- Use short, noncommittal replies or change the subject to mundane topics to deflect drama.
Blank Stare That Ended A Confrontation
- Jack accompanied a district superintendent and was loudly attacked by a church member about conference integrity.
- He gave a blank stare and said, "thank you for sharing," which ended the incident quickly.
