EP359 - Discover the Foundation for Thriving Long-Term Relationships with Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Nov 7, 2023
auto_awesome
Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a renowned therapist and author, discusses the importance of relational self-awareness in maintaining healthy relationships, exploring triggers and patterns, and unlearning outdated beliefs. They also explore the significance of connection and security in relationships, the challenges of balancing different roles, and the power of displaying childhood photos. Additionally, they dive into breaking free from performance-based expectations, the impact of societal expectations on sexual connection, and accessing more content from the guest.
Relational self-awareness involves understanding societal messages and the impact of our own behavior in relationships.
To maintain a fulfilling sexual connection in long-term relationships, prioritize touch, pleasure, and shared experiences over performance and aesthetics.
Deep dives
Understanding Relational and Sexual Self-Awareness
Dr. Alexandra Solomon discusses the importance of relational and sexual self-awareness in our intimate connections. She highlights the significance of looking at our own behavior in relationships and how it impacts the dynamics between partners. Dr. Solomon emphasizes that understanding our family of origin and challenging societal messages about relationships and sexuality can foster a healthier and more fulfilling intimate connection. By being curious, patient, and compassionate with ourselves and our partners, we can navigate the complexities of self-awareness in our relationships.
Overcoming Challenges in Long-Term Relationships
Dr. Solomon addresses the common perception that sex declines in excitement and satisfaction over the course of a long-term relationship. She encourages couples to grieve the changes while also celebrating what their bodies and connection can still offer. Dr. Solomon suggests focusing on touch, pleasure, and shared experiences rather than performance and specific aesthetics. By prioritizing mindfulness, curiosity, and collaboration, couples can create a sexual connection that evolves and deepens over time.
Navigating Different Roles and Keeping the Sexual Connection Alive
Dr. Solomon acknowledges the challenges of maintaining a sexual and erotic connection amidst the various roles and responsibilities in a relationship. She advises couples to be allies to each other and create contexts that allow them to see each other beyond their roles. By fostering appreciation, curiosity, and novel experiences, partners can cultivate a sense of desire and keep the sexual connection alive.
Embracing Vulnerability and Honoring Inner Child
Dr. Solomon emphasizes the importance of embracing vulnerability and recognizing the inner child within ourselves and our partners. By acknowledging the younger versions of ourselves, we can develop compassion and understanding in our intimate relationships. Dr. Solomon suggests creating space for storytelling, reminiscing, and honoring the experiences that shaped us, thereby fostering a sense of safety, curiosity, and connection.
Welcome to episode 359 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Alexandra Solomon. In this episode, we discuss how sexual self-awareness involves understanding societal messages, the evolving nature of sexuality in long-term relationships and the need to break free from narrow sexual scripts.
Over the last two decades, Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon has become one of today’s most trusted voices in the world of relationships, and her work on Relational Self-Awareness has reached millions of people around the world.
Dr. Solomon is a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University, and she is on faculty in the School of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University where she teaches the internationally renowned course, Building Loving and Lasting Relationships: Marriage 101.
In addition to writing articles and chapters for leading academic journals and books in the field of marriage and family, she is the author of two bestselling books, Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back. Dr. Solomon regularly presents to diverse groups that include the United States Military Academy at West Point and Microsoft, and she is frequently asked to talk about relationships with media outlets like The Today Show, O Magazine, The Atlantic, Vogue, and Scientific American.
In this episode, you will hear:
The importance of relational self-awareness in a healthy relationship
Relational self-awareness involves looking at one's own behavior in a relationship
How sexual self-awareness involves understanding societal messages
The importance of unlearning and relearning about one's sexuality
How different sexual scripts can affect relationships
The evolving nature of sexuality in long-term relationships
Reminiscing can be a way to connect and maintain desire in a relationship
Encouraging men to move away from performance-based sex