Slate Daily Feed ICYMI | Yes, Having a Boyfriend Is Embarrassing
Nov 15, 2025
Josh Lora, known as TellTheBees and author of the viral essay 'Boyfriendland', dives into modern dating culture and the intriguing question of whether having a boyfriend is now seen as embarrassing. He discusses TikTok trends that idolize men, the backlash to perceptions of heterofatalism, and the cringe-worthy expectations surrounding intimacy today. Josh highlights how social media shapes our views on relationships, noting the disturbing normalization of public humiliation in romantic content. It's a thought-provoking look at love in the digital age!
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Algorithm Rewards 'Boyfriendland' Content
- Josh Lora observed TikTok trends where creators center their accounts entirely around male partners, creating a “boyfriendland” content track.
- He argues this reflects cultural valorization of men amplified by algorithmic rewards, not just platform quirks.
Embarrassment Tied To Dating Disillusion
- The Vogue piece and Josh connect 'boyfriendland' to a newer tendency to hide or downplay boyfriends as embarrassing.
- This shift ties into broader cultural disillusionment with dating and a move toward heterofatalism.
What Heterofatalism Means
- Heterofatalism frames a cultural retreat from straight relationships driven by negative dating experiences.
- Josh summarizes it as widespread rejection of entering partnerships because 'men are the worst.'