Becoming God’s Family: Against Church Hurt, Isolation, and Autonomy (Carmen Imes) Ep. #214

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Aug 21, 2025

Carmen Imes, author of 'Becoming God’s Family,' passionately discusses the essential role of community in Christianity. She tackles pressing issues like church hurt, toxic culture, and how many are leaving church communities behind. Carmen shares insights on when to stay or leave a church, emphasizing the importance of belonging despite discomfort. With references to Hagar's story and the impact of cultural individualism, she makes a compelling case that true faith is about growth in community, not personal comfort.

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INSIGHT

Christianity Is Inherently Communal

Western individualism makes opting out of church look attractive but contradicts Scripture's communal design.
Carmen Imes argues Christians are designed to belong to a family of faith for formation and flourishing.

ANECDOTE

Campfire Revelation About Church Dropout

Carmen recalls a family member saying, “I still believe in God...I just don't go to church.”
That campfire remark crystallized her concern about autonomy-driven faith disengagement.

INSIGHT

Scripture Emphasizes Collective Life

The Bible reads far more collectivist than modern Western readers expect.
Imes uses biblical community scenes to show what we miss when we stop gathering.

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Can you be a Christian without the church? In this timely episode, Dr. Carmen Imes argues forcefully—and pastorally—that Christianity without community is a contradiction. Drawing from her new book Becoming God’s Family, she and Dru Johnson explore why so many people are walking away from church and what it would take to draw them back.

From church hurt to spiritual abuse to toxic celebrity culture, Carmen doesn’t shy away from the reasons people leave. But she also offers theological and pastoral wisdom on why we can’t give up on the church. They explore biblical stories of failed community, why Hagar’s story matters, and what healthy faithfulness looks like in a flawed body.

They also discuss when it’s time to leave a church, how American and global cultures can distort biblical community, and why true belonging means discomfort, difference, and even lament. Drawing on stories from her life and ministry, Carmen makes the case that church isn’t about getting what we want—it’s about becoming who we’re meant to be.

For Carmen Imes' substack:
https://substack.com/@carmenjoyimes

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Chapters:

00:00 The Importance of Community in Faith
01:37 Addressing Church Disconnection Post-Pandemic
04:22 The Role of Scripture in Community Dynamics
07:17 Navigating Church Hurt and Abuse
10:36 Finding Hope in Faithful Communities
13:46 The Broader Picture of Church Life
16:38 Understanding God's Family Beyond the Church
18:39 The Power of Community and Discipleship
20:03 Cultural Blind Spots and Family Loyalty
21:42 The Radical Nature of Church Family
25:24 The Ananias and Sapphira Lesson
27:59 The Role of Green Rooms in Church
31:10 Lamenting Together as a Family
32:45 The Messiness of Community
35:34 The Quest for Like-Mindedness
37:32 Diversity in Church and Community
41:58 Creative Solutions for Multicultural Worship