Entrepreneur Jia Jiang overcomes his fear of rejection by seeking it out for 100 days. The science suggests that asking for help can make us and those around us happier. The chapter explores the surprising willingness of people to help and the positive reactions to unusual requests. It emphasizes the impact of asking for help and spreading happiness, highlighting inspiring stories of individuals who transformed their lives by seeking assistance.
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Quick takeaways
Asking for help and embracing vulnerability can lead to stronger connections and increased happiness.
People are generally more open and willing to help than we expect, so we should challenge our negative mindset about asking for assistance.
Deep dives
Overcoming the Fear of Rejection
Through an extreme experiment in rejection therapy, Zha Zhang discovered that people are actually much nicer and more willing to help than we think. Despite his initial fear, he received many positive responses to his outlandish requests, such as making Olympic donuts at Krispy Kreme. By exposing himself to rejection, Zha became more comfortable with asking for help and realized that his fears were largely unfounded. He encourages others to push their rejection comfort zone and embrace vulnerability, as people often bond and feel happier through acts of kindness.
The Beautiful Mess Effect
Contrary to our beliefs, research shows that people actually like us better and feel more connected when we show vulnerability and ask for assistance. By being open about our needs and admitting that we may be imposing, we give others the opportunity to help and deepen the bond between us. That vulnerability and dependence on each other is a crucial element of close friendships. By challenging our negative mindset about asking for help, we can create stronger connections and increase happiness for ourselves and others.
Simple Strategies for Asking for Help
To feel more comfortable asking for help, we should come to terms with the possibility of rejection and let go of the fear. Recognizing that our requests might not always be feasible and assuring the person that it's okay if they can't assist us can ease the tension in the interaction. It's also important to remember that people are generally more open and willing to help than we expect. By starting with small challenges that go slightly beyond our comfort zone and gradually expanding our boundaries, we can become more adept at asking for help and experience the positive outcomes that come with it.
Jia Jiang dreamed of being the next Bill Gates... but an entrepreneur needs the courage and confidence to ask for help. Jia was terrified of rejection - so couldn't fulfil his ambitions. That is, until he decided to beat his fear by seeking out rejection after rejection for a full 100 days.
Many of us share Jia's nervousness about appearing vulnerable and needy, but the science suggests that we and the people around us would be happier if we asked them for help more often.