#straightfromcaitandsarah: Healing the Healers, Hyper-Independence, and Rules for Helping

Are you a healer that struggles with asking for help? When you’re used to wearing all the hats and doing everything yourself, it can be really difficult to realize when you need to reach out. In this week’s #straightfromcaitandsarah episode, Cait and FRIED Burnout coach Sarah Vosen talk about how to recognize hyper-independence and how to ask for what you need.

Highly sensitive people have a strong pull toward helping others, but often neglect themselves. If you try to do everything yourself, you run the risk of heading straight for burnout. Healers are so used to taking care of everyone else and never asking others for similar help. It can be uncomfortable to release that control and ask for help or to recognize when it is time to hire someone so you can take off some of those hats. When you find yourself feeling resentment toward responsibilities in your life, it is important to evaluate those feelings. If something you are doing causes resentment, it may be possible to stop doing that thing or to delegate it to someone else. 

Tune into this week’s #straightfromcaitandsarah episode for a conversation about healing the healers, recognizing hyper-independence, and asking for help. Learn how to evaluate your needs and set healthy boundaries. 

Quotes

• “It’s totally acceptable and okay to know things as well as you know them today and then learn something new tomorrow and have that be truer or newer or updated information.” (8:42-8:55 | Cait)

• “I do think that highly sensitive folks tend to want to help and I think that’s because of the heightened empathy that people tend to feel.” (11:20-11:30 | Sarah)

• “I had big aspirations and this desire, but I didn’t recognize that I didn’t have what it took. I set myself up for failure with these huge expectations, but I never actually looked and asked myself, is this realistic?” (16:06-16:22 | Sarah)

• “I really don’t believe that you can keep yourself out of burnout long term if you’re not really clear on what success means to you.” (17:02-17:14 | Cait)

• “I wasn’t recognizing that investing in someone would be a benefit. I was just seeing it as a loss. But also, I always felt like I couldn’t ever work enough to really get my head above water. I think it’s kind of the way I’m wired. I can’t see that many people. I give a lot, I want to spend time with people. And I wasn’t charging enough for what I was giving to make it work. So I was charging the same amount as an acupuncturist who would just throw needles in and leave, but I was doing massage, I was doing acupuncture, coaching them, giving a lot of attention and lifestyle suggestions and all sorts of things. But I wasn’t charging accordingly. I was doing all the admin, the insurance billing. I was cleaning. I don’t know, all the things. All the hats.” (20:35-21:30 | Sarah) 

• “Something gave me the idea early on in life that I will not get what I want. So I shouldn’t even ask. Shouldn’t even try.” (21:53-22:04 | Sarah)

• “If you find out you have resentment about something, the first question is, does this thing actually need to be done at all?” (32:40-32:48 | Cait)

Links 

https://caitdonovan.com/resentment-journal

https://caitdonovan.as.me/sarah

XOXO,

C

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait

https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/quiz

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