Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families #1280 - When One Child Struggles: Supporting Siblings Through the Storm
“It’s really hard to be happier than your unhappiest child.”
When one child is battling mental health challenges, the whole family feels the weight. In this heartfelt episode, Justin and Kylie answer a powerful question from a mum of four: How do I help my younger kids cope as their older brother struggles with depression?
This episode is a must-listen for families navigating the emotional ripple effects of mental health struggles. With deep compassion and practical insight, the Coulsons explore how parents can support siblings through confusion, grief, and change—without losing themselves in the process.
KEY POINTS:
- Acknowledge the Grief: Siblings often feel like they’ve “lost” their brother—even though he’s still physically there.
- Challenge Unhelpful Stories: Gently correct thoughts like “It’s my fault” or “He doesn’t love me anymore.”
- Explain Simply & Honestly: Offer age-appropriate explanations without going into detail or glossing over pain.
- Give Permission to Feel Joy: Let siblings know they don’t have to walk on eggshells or suppress happiness.
- Empower Them to Help: Involve siblings in small, non-burdensome acts of kindness to build connection and hope.
- Reinforce Connection: Help your struggling child feel included without pressure or guilt.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“No matter how angry you are, no matter how sad you are, our love for you is bigger than what you're feeling right now.”
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
- HappyFamilies.com.au – for parenting support and podcast submissions.
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
- Talk About It: Start a family conversation that names the reality and reassures: “This isn’t about you. This is something your brother is going through. And we’re in it together.”
- Model Calm Love: Your children are watching how you respond. Demonstrating patience and compassion teaches them resilience and loyalty.
- Create Joyful Moments: Take siblings out of the house for fun, connection, and relief from emotional tension.
- Invite Micro-Acts of Connection: Encourage simple, no-pressure gestures like watching a movie together or sharing a meme.
- Build Your Village: As a parent, find someone to support you—you don’t have to carry this alone.
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