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Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting

2367: An Age-By-Age Guide to Helping Kids Manage Emotions by Sanya Pelini with The Gottman Institute on Raising Children Advice

Nov 2, 2024
Explore how children's emotional development changes with age and the critical role caregivers play in shaping emotional intelligence. Strategies are shared for helping kids identify and manage their feelings, starting from infancy. Learn the significance of validation and modeling emotional responses. Discover that naming emotions helps kids recognize that feelings are normal, and creating a safe environment fosters effective emotion regulation skills.
11:01

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Quick takeaways

  • The way parents respond to their children's emotions significantly influences the development of their emotional intelligence and self-regulation skills.
  • Effective emotional development in children requires caregivers to validate feelings and model appropriate emotional responses throughout various developmental stages.

Deep dives

Understanding Inborn and Learned Emotions in Children

Children have a mix of inborn and learned emotions, with eight primary emotions being widely recognized: anger, sadness, fear, joy, interest, surprise, disgust, and shame. While infants are guided primarily by inbuilt emotions, toddler experiences lead to the development of secondary emotions like anxiety and shame based on social interactions and parental responses. For example, a child who faces punishment for a meltdown may later feel anxious when experiencing anger. Consequently, the way parents validate or invalidate these emotions plays a crucial role in shaping a child's emotional intelligence and ability to manage feelings.

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