1KHO 583: When Your Best Isn't Enough to Prevent Pain | Tony Miltenburger, Wisdom in the Wound

What if the very wounds you never meant to cause are also the trailheads to your child’s greatest gifts and your own? In this deeply honest conversation, Army veteran, pastor, coach, and author Tony Miltenberger sits down with Ginny to unpack the hard paradox parents live every day: intentions don’t always protect against impact. Tony names the “little-t trauma” most of us absorb between ages four and twelve, explains why our kids are “most definitely wounded” even in loving homes, and shows how to spot it (like when emotions spike past a six and we’re tempted to react instead of respond.)

From “amnesty dinners” that invite truth without punishment to the surprising way a child’s wound can become their strength, this episode offers relief without shirking responsibility, and practical rhythm without shame.

Explore Tony’s new book, Wisdom in the Wound: How God Uses Your Past to Shape Who You’re Becoming, for a deeper dive into redeeming the pain we never intended to cause.

Tony also shares how his own story—military service, ministry, and fatherhood—shaped a simple definition of grace: empathy plus curiosity. If you’ve felt the ache of doing your best and still seeing fallout, this conversation will help you trade self-judgment for steadiness and turn rupture into repair.

Connect with more of Tony’s work here: Follow 2 Lead podcast

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