TPP 350: Showing Up with Agency, Personal Choice, and Intention, with Dr. Amy Hoyt

A concept we have explored a lot on this show and in the Tilt community is AGENCY — and always in the context of how to scaffold and support our kids in developing agency or helping them have a bigger sense of control and autonomy in their lives.

But guess what? We — the parents and caregivers in our kids' lives — we need agency too. And in this conversation, we’re going to be exploring how to expand our own sense of agency and personal choice so we can show up more intentionally to our daily lives as parents.

And to talk with us all about this is Dr. Amy Hoyt, a mom of five children, three of whom are differently wired, and a specialist who has been working in the field of trauma for ten years, as a researcher of mass trauma and individual trauma. She is the founder of Mending Trauma, a digital mental health platform dedicated to helping women recover from trauma and PTSD, and is an author, podcaster and speaker passionate about helping others learn skills that allow them to parent and live with intention and agency.

During this conversation, you’ll hear us talk about what agency and choice look like in the context of parenting and how micro choices can help us develop an internal locus of control, which is critical for us to have. Amy also gave us a few short, easy practices we can do that will help us strengthen our sense of agency, as well as reset our nervous system, which for so many of is us in need of support, especially if we tend to operate in a more hypervigilant state due to stressors in our parenting lives.

And because Amy is an expert in trauma, we actually begin our conversion by talking about how residual trauma in adults can be triggered by our parenting journey and how it might show up, especially when we’re raising differently wired kids and we may be differently wired ourselves.

And on that note, a quick trigger warning – in the beginning of this conversation, Amy shares why working in trauma is something she felt called to do, and as part of that, talks about abuse she experienced as a child. So please take care of yourself if that’s a subject that is difficult for you.

About Dr. Amy Hoyt

Dr. Amy Hoyt is a mom of five children, three who are differently abled.She is the founder of Mending Trauma, a digital mental health platform dedicated to helping women recover from trauma and cPTSD.

Dr. Hoyt is certified in Traumatic Stress Studies by the Trauma Research Foundation. She has been working in the field of trauma for ten years, as a researcher of mass trauma (genocide and apartheid) and individual trauma. She is an author, podcaster and speaker and is passionate about helping others learn skills that allow them to parent and live with intention and agency.

Things you'll learn:

• What trauma is and how it can show up in our lives and bodies
• Where to start if you want to get to know and work to heal your own trauma
• What a physiological sigh is and how you can use it to reset your nervous system
• What agency is in the context of parenting, and why it’s so important to have
• What it means to be “in choice” in our parenting lives, and how micro choices can help develop an internal locus of control
• How agency and trauma are connected

Resources mentioned:

• Dr. Amy Hoyt’s website, Mending Trauma
• Mending Trauma on Instagram
• The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences on Health and Development in Young Children (National Institute of Health Study)
• Trauma Research Foundation
• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk
• The 12 Steps
• Deb Dana’s website, Rhythm of Regulation
• Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana
• How Your Nervous System Works and Changes (The Huberman Lab podcast)

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