The Impact of Searching for the Right Diagnosis and Not Getting the Support You Need-Mike and Amy Matthews

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Apr 1, 2025

Mike Matthews, a hospital supply chain worker diagnosed with autism later in life, shares the profound impact of his condition on his family. Alongside Amy Matthews, a mental health therapist, they discuss their challenging journey through misdiagnosis and the struggle for appropriate support. They explore the realities of autistic burnout, parenting amidst sensory needs, and the importance of a neuro-affirming household. Their candid conversation sheds light on the unique strengths and challenges of their neurodiverse relationship.

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ANECDOTE

Life Before and After Kids

Mike's life pre-kids was unintentionally suited to his autistic needs, with alone time and a less demanding work schedule.
After kids, increased social demands and reduced time for special interests led to irritability and difficulty functioning.

ANECDOTE

Unhelpful Medical Advice

When Mike sought help for his depression, his primary care doctor's advice was to eat more meat for breakfast.
This advice, focusing on diet rather than mental health, proved unhelpful.

ANECDOTE

Antidepressant Struggles

Mike tried five different antidepressants prescribed by a psychiatrist, all with side effects or no positive impact.
The trial-and-error process was difficult, time-consuming, and costly.

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During this episode with Mike and Amy Matthews you will learn about the challenges this neurodiverse couple experienced trying to find the root cause of Mike's depression and the difficult journey they went on to discover he had been in Autistic burnout for years and didn't know it. (I apologize for the tech glitches we had for about 5 minutes from about 20-25 minutes in.)Some of the topics we discussed are:

How things changed after they had their first child.
How before becoming a parent Mike had created a life that fit his brain.
Little time for special interests after kids were born.

Saw a psychiatrist and went on 5 different antidepressants and none worked.

Loneliness of watching your partner go through this process.

Psychiatrists and therapists said Mike couldn’t be Autistic because he showed “empathy” and could maintain "eye contact".
Relationship challenges after trying to figure out what was happening for about 5 years.
Mike did research on Autism and everything fit.

Went for Autism assessment and the results were that Mike had schizoid personality disorder, but Mike now self identifies as Autistic.
Probably wasn’t depression it was Autistic burnout.
The importance of understanding sensory needs.
Amy tried to enjoy the good days during the process.
The importance of having a partner who wants to do the work.
Creating a neuro-affirming household and family.
Celebrating everyone’s differently wired brains.

Understanding the ways you are different and sharing your needs without guilt.
The importance of having positive role models.
Many in the medical/mental health community do not have the education and knowledge that they need to understand and work with neurodivergent adults.
Contact Amy at amatthews@prairiewellness.org or click here

If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona offers including the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards & Workbook, the 2023 and 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference Sessions, support groups for Neurodiverse Couples and for the non-autistic partners, please check out her website.