266 Breaking Free from Masking: ADHD and Authenticity in Relationships
Jun 4, 2024
Explore the challenges of masking behavior in ADHD individuals, impacting relationships and self-perception. Emphasize the importance of creating safe spaces for authenticity, self-acceptance, and reducing the emotional toll of masking. Reflect on personal experiences and community stories to navigate the complexities of being true to oneself amidst societal norms.
45:22
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Masking Is Learned Survival, Not Just Fakery
Masking is common and often taught by caregivers as a survival strategy in a neurotypical world.
Kristen Carter distinguishes normal context-based masking from hiding core vulnerabilities that cause shame and exhaustion.
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Distinguish Management From Masking
Separate symptom management from masking when evaluating your behavior.
Use practical strategies (like arriving early) to manage ADHD without labeling it as hiding your true self.
insights INSIGHT
Masking Reflects A Neurotypical World
We mask mainly to avoid rejection because the world is built for neurotypical brains.
Masking can be adaptive in hostile settings but reflects systemic mismatch, not personal failure.
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In this episode, we’ll explore what masking is, how it impacts our relationships and self-perception, and why it’s so crucial to create spaces where we can be our authentic selves.
For those of us with ADHD, masking often means hiding or downplaying our symptoms to fit societal norms or meet others’ expectations. This behavior is frequently learned from caregivers who, sometimes with the best intentions, teach us to conform. But while masking might help us navigate certain social situations, it comes with a significant emotional toll.
In this episode, we discuss how masking can strain our relationships and warp our self-perception. When we’re constantly trying to fit into a mold that wasn’t designed for us, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion. I share some personal experiences and stories from our community about the struggles and triumphs related to masking.
One of the key takeaways from this discussion is the importance of creating safe spaces where we can be our true selves. Whether it’s setting boundaries, practicing self-acceptance, or educating those around us, there are steps we can take to reduce the need for masking. I also introduce an adult ADHD masking measure that you can use for self-reflection to better understand your own masking behaviors.
Masking is a challenging but essential topic, and I hope this discussion helps you on your journey toward self-acceptance and authenticity. Remember, it’s okay to be yourself, and you deserve relationships that honor and support who you truly are.
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