Episode 71: Negative Intimacy and Forgiveness

This week I’m bringing you a solo episode, and I’m talking all about negative intimacy and forgiveness. First, let’s talk about negative intimacy. In a nutshell, negative intimacy is the continuation of unhealthy dynamics of your marriage long into your divorce — something I engaged in for about five years post-divorce!

In this episode, I offer some questions to ask if you think you’re in a negatively intimate relationship with your ex or soon-to-be-ex, such as: “What is the connection you are trying to keep alive?”Understanding why you’re seeking this connection and then moving on from it is all part of the letting go process. Letting go happens over time, and often in waves. And it is a process. Extricating yourself from past relationship patterns is where the real divorce happens. 

I also sound off on the difference between forgiveness and resentment. And, know this, you don’t have to forgive someone. However, you should work through and process your resentments. Listen in, reach out if you need guidance, and stay well! 

Show Highlights

• How to hold your boundaries and you shift the relationship dynamic.
• Why negative intimacy typically revolves around your children.
• You don’t HAVE to forgive someone. 
• Why you should process through your resentments. 
• A Mother’s Day message reminder - ask for what you need.

Resources & Links:

Me in the New York Times! Podcasts Inspired by Love and Relationships

The Ultimate Divorce Survival GuideShould I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group